Ghostly Tail

I am so white. I knew this already but in the dressing room today it was worse than I thought. I need a tan, need to tone my muscles (if I have any)and need to stop being a little piggy when I eat. Luckily I only had to encounter one dressing room today but it was with 15 bathing suits in tow. All bikinis. All interchangeable. I tried everyone on. I tried every combination. After finding the combination that made me feel comfortable and not-so-fat and not-so-ghostly, I bought it. Oh, yes, it cost me a pretty penny. I am ashamed of myself actually.