Apology

T called after we had the not-so-pleasant conversation. He left a message on my cell phone profusely apologizing. He said he was sorry about being hypocritical and talking shit about me going to school. He was saying stuff out of anger, he didn't mean the things that he said, etc. He stated that his frustration had turned into anger and he took it out on me. You know how sometimes when you feel like shit you try and make someone else feel like shit so you are not miserable alone? Well, that's basically what happened. He told me via the voicemail that he is having a hard time handling the fact that he is not my top priority*. I have other things going on and I am not paying the same attention to him as I used to.** I honestly think that he is sorry but when our last conversation ended, i said to him, "see this is why I don't talk to you anymore". I stand by that. I can't continue to assist in dragging this out. I love him and I care for him deeply but I have to live my own life as well. When he is in a better place then maybe a friendship can thrive but not in the place where he is standing right now.

I have not returned his call. I am still contemplating whether or not I should call and tell him what's on my mind, then just leave it at that.


*understandably difficult to deal with, i know. he's the one that broke-up with me in the first place. i have been dumped before as well. not being at the top of the list is hard to deal with when you were there for so long.

**it's also not even that i have other things going on, if i still enjoyed his company i would make time. it's just that he is not happy with his situation and it sucks the life right out of me. my spirit will not be oppressed.