Dust and Sunshine

happier than the morning sun...

2007-01-07T23:44:00.000-05:00

2006 was one of my best yet.

hanging out with old friends. meeting new ones. first date with scott. success in school. fox bros. backyard. lots of concerts (beck, outformation, panic, phil & friends, sundogs, black crowes, etc.). the return of a better widespread panic. charlotte trip. new york trip. best christmas ever. fantastic new years. extremely healthy and happy relationship with the best boyfriend ever. lots of bbq, beer, wine and jager too.

i have never been so content in the present and this confident in the future.

got a new camera for christmas. canon sd600...

a former life

2006-11-26T21:31:00.000-05:00

i held on so tight i got tired and had to let go.

i wasn't giving up, i just couldn't do it anymore.

hindsight: i should never have held on so tight.

i could not be more sad but at the same time i could not be happier.

fox bros. shindig

2006-06-14T11:40:00.000-05:00

June 3, 2006
Jonathan and Justin's backyard.
Outformation. Mark Brut opening.

i have two new loves

2006-06-14T11:11:00.000-05:00

scott and the mets.

really, thank god he's obsessed with such a fun baseball team. i love everyone of those players. i love watching them play, it's really exciting. i don't want him to think that i love his team just because i love him or that's just what a good girlfriend does. i honestly love watching them. and it's a good thing because there is a mets game on almost everytime we hang out.

the moment i knew i was falling for him was after we had been to a mets game that day. when he told me "i love you" for the first time it was the same day Lastings Milledge made his big league debut. i have a feeling scott's first child will be named "David Wright" even if it is a girl.

mostly though, i love scott. he's just amazing. and it all feels so healthy. it's a very mature love but at the same time it's like we are 3rd graders "going out". the giggling is incessant. i see things in him that would have annoyed me with anyone else but with him, i find it endearing. i have not even picked a fight with him...i don't want to, there's no reason. i adore him. i love who i am around him. i am selfless with him. he is incredible, in so many ways. and he's good and honest, caring and trusting. he's smart, creative and hilarious. he's perfect even with his imperfections.

same as it ever was

2006-06-14T11:05:00.000-05:00

well, things are back to normal. and by normal, i mean, my dad is drinking again. going to the bar in the early afternoon, making it back home for a nap and dinner then off to the bar again for the late shift.

his coffin will be made of busch beer aluminum cans.

you know, i really had faith that this sobriety thing would actually work out. it's just making me a little bitter.

shopping excursion

2006-05-16T15:23:00.002-05:00

things most definetly NOT purchased on the most recent shopping trip...

^ somehwere in some warm weathered climate a flamingo* is wearing a pair of these (jeremie, in fact, has verified this. he is originally from florida and says that, yes, people actually do wear shoes like these)

^ not a fan of the current purse trend

^ yes, my mom is holding an expensive handbag that is adorned with pom-poms

*flamingo= the type of woman who wears pink capris, lime green tropical shirts and straw handbags (usually found shopping for their springwear at the local steinmart)

.

2006-04-17T00:47:00.000-05:00

it's 4 am, i think we're done here

.

2006-04-17T00:45:00.000-05:00

jagerbombs

.

2006-04-17T00:43:00.000-05:00

damn traffic and text messages. accidents happen.

.

2006-04-17T00:42:00.000-05:00

makes my body feel hot

10 years ago today

2006-04-12T10:48:00.000-05:00

04/12/96 National Guard Armory, Baseball Field, Clemson, SC

1: C. Brown > Fishwater, Gradle, Weight Of The World, Walk On, Disco > Tall Boy, Heroes > Help Me Somebody

2: Rock, Rebirtha, Love Tractor, Aunt Avis, You Got Yours, Galleon > Chilly Water > Mercy > Drums > Chilly Water, Ain't Life Grand

E: Hope In A Hopeless World, Blackout Blues

my first Panic show.

robin, kellie and i took a quick road trip to clemson to see Panic. it was mine and laura's (is that grammatically correct) first show. we were 17. i was so drunk and tired of dealing with my belt that i threw it in the port-a-potty. we smoked pot with some dude that was next to us. i think we ran into christy and ashley in the lot. i remembering dancing a lot and just being drunk. the show was really good. as drunk as i was i still remember the show from when they opened with c.brown to when they closed with blackout. a hand full of those songs are still some of my very favorites to this day.

if you would like a copy of the show let me know.

2006-04-10T13:13:00.000-05:00

my new pack

jellyfish at the new georgia aquarium

me in the penguin thing

me at the aquarium

me and my mom at the dogwood festival this past saturday (scott met my mom for the first time. i haven't decided if i will post pics of him on here or not)

hi, remember me?

2006-04-10T12:51:00.000-05:00

quick update...

i have a boyfriend. his name is scott. our first date was february 25th.

i was sexually harassed by one of my professors. he has since been fired for misconduct in the classroom (unrelated to my incident). i did turn in an offical report though. i felt strongly about it. i have really thick skin and for me to be affected by it enough to go to the head of the department really shows how sick it was.

i am almost finished with my 2nd semester in art school.

i still work at the same waitressing job. i have a new boss and a new manager.

i called in sick to work yesterday. i have been with this job for a year and a half, it was my first time calling in.

my dad is still sober.

i am addicted to myspace.

going to see Panic at the Fox may 8th.

and Outformation is playing in my friend's backyard June 3rd.

i am happy.

more later.

movin' on up!

2006-04-10T12:41:00.000-05:00

after years of pulling teeth and hair and almost tossing the computer out the window on many occasions (and shedding tears in frustration)...we have buried our dial-up!

so my new mode of cruising is DSL via the ethernet.

jesus, i feel like i can conquer the world now.

i have been on the interweb for a little less that 2 huors and i have already browsed every page on my bookmarks. not to mention, browsed website after website searching for a new pair of shoes. and the pictures! you guys, the pictures download so quickly! another good thing about this is that i can upload my pictures to my shutterfly account in a timely manner, rather than it taking five minutes to upload like 5 pics.

woop woop.

nope. still alive.

2006-02-14T02:33:00.000-05:00

my dad has been sober for two months.

it's kind of weird. it's like before i had a reason to hate him, not talk to him, think negatively of him. now, i don't know how to live a life loving my dad. the last time i loved my dad, i was like six and i was his princess, we would go fishing and he would feed me those orange lance peanut butter crackers. then it somehow turned into me being a bitch. constant scowls. ruthless words exchanged.

he is a huge reason i am so fucked in the head sometimes. he is the reason why i can't maintain a real loving relationship.

i am happy that he is sober but it's fucking 27 years too late.

i have been having minor anxiety attacks which turn into little emotional breakdowns recently...i don't know how to live this life that i am in. i think a lot of my stress has been related to this. constantly holding my breath just waiting for him to start drinking again. waiting for that huge disappointment that's right around the corner.

show and tell time

2005-11-24T22:12:00.000-05:00

today was a good day.

the falcons won. detroit played shitty, they weren't much competition, but the win is all that matters.

took a cooking break with my mom and we decided to cut down a tree in the back. we initially were going to take down 3 but the first bastard was so stubborn in coming down, we decided to stop after that. a chainsaw woulda been nice but we didn't have a long enough extension cord. that tree was skinny but man, i'm telling you, it wouldn't budge. FINALLY we were victorious. kind of. we get the sucker cut and it just rests up against another tree and just sits there! even cut in half! i was kicking it and pulling on the limbs. my mom finally brought it down. she felt like rocky.

i need to clean my room before the night is over, i'm living in a pig sty people.

we are going so fast, we are blurry!

not sure why this one made the cut.

see? the damn thing is cut in half but still standing!

here she is hauling a big limb away from the mess.

victorious!

yay! (we are stupid)

we have a ham, whole turkey and four sides, for three people. deicided not to bake the rolls, make the salad, or eat the apple pie.

notice the fritos bag on the bed? i didn't eat those today. i think it was yesterday. they must have hung on tight while i slept last night.

freakin disaster.

thanksgiving break

2005-11-21T23:15:00.000-05:00

i work one day this week (friday) and today was the only day i went to school since i have wednesday off for thanksgiving. ahh, let's see what i'll be doing just in case you were on the edge of your seat waiting for my holiday plans...

-write a self-analysis/critque paper
-start and finish typography project
-start on final project for 2D
-set out plans and sketches for final project in Drawing
-write extra credit paper on the Wyeth exhibit i saw
-purchase mat cutting supplies
-work on Drawing sketchbook and finish

EXCITING!

this thanksgiving, i am thankful for thanksgiving break (created for severe procrastinators)

actually, in defense of myself, i was three weeks behind on one project b/c i was so overwhelmed by it and cried over it and started over like 4 times, which means i would invest like 3 hours into the project and then just toss it and start over (4 times!), anyway, that put me behind on some other stuff that i am only now catching up on. BUT i turned in that project today and i got an A. so at least it's over and i will no longer wake up in the middle of the night with cold sweats over this project. i will post a picture of it soon.

and there you have it! have a wonderful holiday week.

hahahah

2005-11-20T02:23:00.000-05:00

okay, sooo interesting...

i didn't have time to read much of it because i had to share this with you/y'all/whoever...

(click on the title of this post for the link.)

please, visit this site! (not work safe just so you know) it's a board about swingers and as far as i can tell the topics are basically whatever you have ever wanted to know about swinging.

just do it, you know you want to.

and sidenote here, i am sooo not into swinging (worked with a swinger once though).

oh and p.s. i was not looking for a swinging message board, the panic board is down so i was looking for the phish board to see what was going on over at the sandbox. the swinging shit was found amongst all the "phish message board" google finds. i found it and heard that the panic board is down until tomorrow but whatever, i found a swingers board!

i don't know if this is "bling" or not

2005-11-19T18:34:00.000-05:00

i was sitting at crapplebees having a beer when in walks a walking advertisement for himself.

his name was romeo and this was his belt buckle...

it's lit up and his name scrolls across like a ticker thing.

i was fascinated and he was kind enough to let me take a picture of it. it's a bit dark but i couldn't use the flash or else his lit up name wouldn't show up in the picture.

the smell of dirt and dust

2005-11-19T17:35:00.000-05:00

this is granny's house

this is the main barn on the property. it sits right next to what is now a busy road. there are a total of about seven shacks/barns. i don't know what they were used for but they all all about to completely collapse.

when i was little i went to an in-home day care for a couple of years. the lady that kept me was named joann harper. her husband's name was george harper. there were a couple other kids there but i don't remember them, i just remember their granddaughter, sherrie. she was my age and she cut my hair once because i told her that my mom wouldn't mind, "i need a trim anyway". i once bit a kid on the arm there. to teach me a lesson, joann bit the crap out of my arm. it hurt and i cried a lot but lesson learned, i never did it again. they had an old barn out in the back where we would fiddle with really old tools and gadgets and play dress up with really old smelly clothes. i remember granddaddy long legs in that barn. they still give me the creeps. we played outside a lot, i don't ever remember watching television over there. i took naps in the back room and was forced to eat spaghetti-os and we played in the carport for a good bit of it all. sometimes i hated going because i just didn't want to go. mostly though, i loved it. i was treated almost like one of her grandbaby's and i knew it, she really took good care of me.

joann and george used to grow pumpkins in the field next to their house. they would sell them every year for halloween. we got our pumpkin from them every year, said hello and caught up a bit, then one year we just stopped going. i went back once with my boyfriend but i don't remember if i told her who i was. they are really old now (they were kind of old when they took care of me) and no longer sell pumpkins. i drive by the house all the time, it's right around the corner from my parent's house. the harpers are old lilburn. they are rooted in this town by at least six generations.

that whole family used to own all of the land in that area. sisters and brothers and mom and dad all lived (and still do) next door and across the street from each other. joann's mom lived next door in a house that was ancient. they had lived there forever. joann grew up in that house. i guess joann's dad had died because i never heard anything about him. i did know her mother though. we called her "granny" and granny was as old as dirt. i was never scared of her even though everything about her and that place probably seemed spooky to a five year old. once we were in her kitchen and i asked her to take down her bun and show me her hair. she took it down and it almost touched the floor. that's about the only thing i can remember about her. i was really young. i rarely recall words but the pictures are in my head. granny's house stirs so much inside of me though. it stirs emotions, memories and my imagination. my mom and i were driving by the house today and we stopped. i got out and took a few pictures. i had always wanted to and knew that if i didn't do it then one day the place would collapse and i would regret it. now there is so much growth (new neighborhoods, shopping centers) around something that used to be surrounded by nothing but fields and dirt road. the property now sticks out like a sore thumb but it also feels so natural. like it cries out to be taken back a century ago, when it actually felt like home.

i'll probably go back one day soon and take more pictures. i'd really like to go talk to george and joann but i know i probably won't.

my manager...

2005-11-18T02:45:00.000-05:00

is such an illiterate ass that he writes a note over the request box (for days off) that says...get this...

"all requests has been pick up"

the end. i don't know what else to say.

edit- i took my camera to work to get photographic evidence of the idiocy...

I Am From...

2005-11-17T14:38:00.000-05:00

credit is given to missuz j. to putting this on her blog. i am stealing it from her. however, my friend, shawn, said that his daughter had to do an assignment just like this for school. so i am not sure who came up with this but i think it's a great idea. i have been working on mine here and there the last couple of weeks, heres what i have so far...

(oh and real quick i stole "pink sponge curlers" from missuz j. but i am from that too, so sorry for copying)

I Am From...

mud pies, hide 'n' seek and picnic dinners.

I Am From...

pink jellies, aqua converse and side ponytails.

I Am From...

pink sponge curlers, white tights and patent leather shoes.

I Am From...

the Baptist church, Catholic Communion and nondenominational thoughts.

I Am From...

a broken heart, a suppressed spirit but a strong backbone.

I Am From...

late nights, long trips and make believe.

I Am From...

the New Jersey sand, Georgia red clay and the Southern humidity.

I Am From...

dancing to the jukebox to dancing in my bedroom to dancing at a show.

I Am From...

my lifelong best friend, friends that have passed away and friends that come and go.

I Am From...

a surrogate family, a weak father and a strong mother.

I Am From...

a lot of tears.

Who Doesn't Love Air Guitar?

2005-11-17T02:53:00.000-05:00

click the title of this post to check out one of the most exciting events going on. who knew? seriously? i wish i had known about this before now. i would have gone to the regionals in asheville. what a fun time...beer and air guitar.

also go to airguitar.com (maybe you can tell me what it's about b/c i'm on dial-up and that thing took forever to download).
_________________

JUDGING CRITERIA

1. TECHNICAL MERIT
You don't have to know what notes you're playing, but the more the judges believe your fretwork corresponds to the music they're hearing, the better your score.

2. STAGE PRESENCE
Anyone can do it in the privacy of their bedroom. Few have what it takes to rock a crowd of hundreds or even thousands all without an instrument.

3. "AIRNESS"
The last criteria is the most difficult to define yet often the most decisive one of all. Airness is defined as "the extent to which a performance transcends the imitation of a real guitar and becomes and art form in and of itself."
___________________

ULES OF COMPETITION

To download the official rules of competition, please click here.

The US Air Guitar Championships obey the rules set forth by the
Air Guitar World Championships:
- Each performance is played to one minute (60 seconds) of a song chosen by the performer or the event organizers
- The 60 seconds can start anywhere in the song
- The instrument must be invisible and must be a guitar, i.e. air drums are not permitted but air bass is permitted
- Personal air roadies are allowed, but they must leave the stage before the performance begins
- Back-up bands (air or real) are not allowed
_______________________

i know i'm already gearin' up for the 2006 season!

BOOBS

2005-11-17T00:29:00.000-05:00

(not mine justsoyaknow)

Another Immature and Boring Meme

2005-11-15T03:15:00.000-05:00

i honestly don't know what "meme" means but whatever. undr told me that no matter what anybody (those blog reveiwing people) says, i will do this...

and here's to me being bored and on the computer (actually the panic board) AND here's to today, the day that i no longer type with capitals. i never liked it, i was just trying to be proper. :cheers
_______________
FIRSTS

First best friend: laura b.

First Car: maroon eagle premier

First kiss: matt d. in elementary school (who is now married and in california)

First real kiss: chris p. (who i don't know what happened to him)

First makeout: matt b. (who lives at home, has no job, no school and plays poker)
edit (01/22/07)- i don't know what i was thinking. my first make-out was with corey brown, aka "lay me down and...", well, nevermind. anyway, it was spring break of my senior year (matt was with us but was annoying me so bad which sucked b/c before then we had gone out...wait..end parenthesis...matt was my first make-out! i made out with corey (which i had been wanting to do for about a year) but it was after matt and i had dated. huh, now i am confused. i didn't cheat on matt but why weren't we "together" during spring break?

First big trip: georgia to new jersey

First time skiing/Snowboarding: sometime in middle school, i think it was in north carolina, icey, bad. first time in real snow- breckinridge, co 1998

First concert: new kids on the block (sadly, i screamed "donnie take your shirt off" the whole time, what do ya know, he did it.)

First Alcoholic Drink: the first one i drank all the way through was probably budweiser, in a can (party at my house)

First ticket violation: athens, can't remember but i was speeding. april 2000 during the panic classic center shows

First job: honeybaked ham

First date: chris p. took me out. can't remember where we went.

LASTS

Last car ride: from a bar named "jack's"

Last kiss: on the lips, my friend, Ryan. last *real* kiss, T. a little over 2 months ago. damn.

Last time you cried: friday night (at work, boo) my boss is a total menopausal bitch

Last movie watched: ??? karate kid?

Last food you ate: pork chops with mozzarella,

Last love: T.

Last temptation: to eat cheetos or go to bed

Last item bought: i didn't buy my beer tonight at jack's so i guess the apple martini i had at OB

Last annoyance: the really annoying girl in both of my classes today (who tried to register today and couldn't get any of the classes i registered for, thank goodness)

Last time wanting to die: at work sunday

Last alcoholic drink: killians (beer)

Last concert: panic in macon

Last phone call: my friend, shawn

Last friend you added on MYSPACE: i don't keep up with my myspace account.

CURRENTS

Current Best Friend(s): Laura. forever. (local: jeremie)

Current Car: '96 honda civic

Current love: art school (but about to fall in love with winter break)

Current drink: favorite? v8 splash. drinking right now? killians

Current activity: right now? on the computer wasting moments of my life filling this out.

Current annoyance: dial up internet and all three boyfriends i have had contacting me in the last week. yes, that's right! matt b, chris m and T have called me all in the same week. how weird is that?! i haven't talked to matt in about 2 years, haven't talked to chris since april and haven't talked to T in two months. wtf.

Koala: not the OB koala, that's definite.

Current mood: low key. tired and about to go to bed for some serious sleep.

if this is boring, lick me. super fi*

here was undilation's message to me-
"PS: You know if you want to, you can fill one of these out and I will totally think you are rad. Love ya, mean it! (Jeanne you better, I don't care what those biotches say!---besos!)"

*see: dane cook

The New High

2005-11-13T01:09:00.000-05:00

www.high.org

The Andrew Wyeth exhibit opened today. I was definetly stoked about that as he is one of my favorite painters. I was most impressed by the marble statues. I couldn't get enough. Some pieces brought tears to my eyes. I bought a one year membership for $38. Not a bad deal since it's a $15 admission price. I can't wait to go back! And since it's free for me, I can go whenever! Even when I'm broke. And I can bring a friend, for free!

________________

you are not supposed to take pictures of the art. i did. on the sly. i wish i could have shot some of the wyeth stuff but there were eyes everywhere watching every move. once i got my face like a couple inches away from his paintings and this lady came rushing over and warned me that i was too close to the piece. i was just examining it. oops. i was also taking lots of notes and they kept coming up to me making sure i was using a pencil and not a pen. they are very strict, i guess i don't blame them though.

this is baby jesus on a cross that a little girl is holding. the title of this statue was something like "first christmas" or "christmas morning" it was lovely.

check out the fine detail on MARBLE! it's perfect, i should have taken a pic of a better example. some of the intricate detail (ie: lace, fabric patterns) was unreal.

this is an empty house across the street from The High. i don't know anything about it. it is empty with no markings. there was a phone number to call (didn't say anything else). i'm going to call them and ask about it. we walked around and peeked in windows. the inside is beautiful and has so much character.

i love the contrast between the pre civil war (?) house and the skyscrapers, i was fascinated by it.

this is from the Howard Finster room. he is a folk artist. it's mostly religious in nature and very junky. it was very interesting to say the least. not my kind of thing but it is to be appreciated at some level.

I'm Really Looking Forward To This Album

2005-11-08T23:48:00.000-05:00

2nd and final solo album

background info

Door Harp made me cry and contemplate and mourn. This one is supossed to be even more intense.

I remember when Warren Zevon died, his last album, "The Wind" made me cry...a lot. I get so emotional about these albums that are made when someone knows they are dying. Being able to receive a message set in music from someone who is living with their own death is hauntingly intense. "Door Harp", it being instrumental, is a perfect example of words not being able to articulate the story, only the notes of the song can do that. It felt like you were Mikey's actual heartbeat, the tears that fell from his eyes, his eyes as he looked at his family, taking in all of the moments that he thought he would have forever to capture.

I strongly suggest listening to both "The Wind" by Warren Zevon and "Door Harp" by Michael Houser. When "Sandbox" comes out, take some time and remember Houser. I'm not about to get all sentimental because I will definetly cry but he is so sorely missed.

Release date: January 2006
Album: Sandbox
Artist: Michael Houser
Producer: John Keane
Record Company: Supercat (??? i assume that this is a branch off of "Brown Cat", probably John Keane owned)

Fun Little Link

2005-11-08T21:23:00.000-05:00

click on the title of this post. you will see what fascinated me for twenty minutes the other day. i use my time so wisely, you will not even believe!

edit- the link is not working properly. either my computer is really tired or the site is not functioning properly.

edit 2- i tried the site again, if you see all black just keep clicking your mouse (it'll take a lot of clicks, be patient, it's sooo worth it) until the guy appears. do not click on "enter site". when you see lipstick, click on it, move your mouse.

Speaking of November...

2005-11-05T10:52:00.000-05:00

November marks one year of wearing a really lame uniform at a fake Australian restaurant.

Tis Autumn

2005-11-05T10:46:00.000-05:00

The leaves seen through my window pane
Remind me that it's time to move my life again
November sun is felt by none
A chilly breeze has blown my thoughts to what's to come
A cup of warm coffee, some vitamin C
A bowl for the cat, a bowl for the dog, a bowl for me
Choose my bluest tape and unlock my car
An honest tune with a lingering lead has taken me this far

On the edge of the porch in the warm evening night
Throwing the bone for the dog I see two passing lights
Well, I wonder where that driver's bound
Is there someone, somewhere, someway out there that I've not found
A touch of smoke ain't what it seems
Dust and sunshine can also make my eyes look mean
But there's a brown cat sleeping through this day's show
Toppin' off the woodpile, breathing slow

_________________________________________

It is the Autumnal Equinox. I love it.

Tears of a Blogger

2005-11-04T12:31:00.000-05:00

Do you read Dooce.com? I read her blog religiously. I love her blog more than any other. (take no offense IIFs) Today, Heather just made me full out cry. And it's probably because I'm PMSing* but she posted her monthly newsletter to Leta. I was reading intently and laughing on the inside and horrified at the same time. Then, I read the last line and cried. and cried. A mother's love is simply incredible.

*not to mention that my biological clock is ticking so loud that i can barely hear myself think.
"no babies, no babies, no babies, STOP!" (like from the game show "press your luck", no whammies)

This One's For ShipKicker

2005-11-04T12:10:00.000-05:00

"Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least minimize, your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life."

`if you cannot change the people around you, change the people you're around`

Question Time Again

2005-11-03T12:44:00.000-05:00

I can't help myself with these things. I apologize you guys. This is from Undr.

smoked a cigarette - yes. many. way too many.

crashed a friend's car - i have crashed mine but never a friend's.

been in love - twice.

shoplifted- yes. besides candy, i once stole a pack of cigarettes. i was probably 17 and on a week long camping trip and we were pretty much out of money. i was in a little po-dunk town grocery store (think Piggly Wiggly circa 1984). when i was at the register, the manager was called over. they were questioning me,"where are you from?", "where are those cigarettes i saw you walking around with earlier?" my face turned bright red and i said, "i put them back, you can ask my boyfriend, he's in the car." i was shaking and i think he knew he scared the living shit out of me. i just knew the cigarette pack was pulsating and blinking red from my jacket pocket. as soon as i cashed out with my ramen noodles, i got in the car and told my boyfriend to hurry. i'm sure i started crying.

been in a fist fight - gotten in the middle of one to break it up, yes. they didn't care i was there and i bled a little.

snuck out of your parent's house- i never had to sneek out. i have snuck out of my friend's parent's houses though.

gone on a blind date - my junior year of high school. i don't think i would ever do it now as an adult.

skipped school- my senior year specifically, i skipped on so many occasions (i attended class 1/3 of the time) that the next year at that school they implimented the "3 absences only" policy. here was the thing though, i only had three classes. and if i was late to school by one minute i got "saturday school". so after attending a few too many saturday schools, i figured out that if i just didn't go at all then i wouldn't get in trouble. so that's what i did.

been on a plane- tons of times. i love flying.

eaten sushi- one of my most favorite foods of all times!

been moshing at a concert - no way. i got close to some moshing one time though and got a little scared. i don't really go to shows where people mosh.

had a tea party - many times. the ones i remember most fondly are the ones i had in new jersey. my cousin and my grandma has awesome little tea sets. at my neighborhood pool we had underwater tea parties.

fallen asleep at work or school- yes and yes.

slept beneath the stars - one of my most favorite things to do.

liked the way you looked at least at one point in time - yes. lots of times.

played cops and robbers- yup, as a kid and with my boyfriend once. heh.

sung karaoke - yes. once. in Orlando. i was with a group of my friends and it was free beer happy hour at our hotel. i sang "me and bobby mcgee" with my friend anney and then i sang "son of a preacher man"(?) with laura and anney? laura was there, monica was there. i can't remember exactly. however, jared videotaped it. karaoke can kiss my ass. i hate it.

been kissed under the mistletoe- yes.

laughed so hard you pee your pants -not completely peed my pants but i have dribbled pee on several occasions.

the end.

Small Annoyances

2005-11-02T23:48:00.000-05:00

So this might annoy me just an eentsy weensty teeny tiny bit...

Ya know, maybe it's possible that I'm an idiot but you know what? I'm not. It's things like this little really-there-for-a-good-reason but hard-as-fuck-to-decipher word verification THAT DRIVES ME INSANE! is that a 7, 4, a 7 with an upside-down t? somebody, anybody?

Wanna Know...

2005-11-01T19:41:00.000-05:00

How To Annoy The Holy Living Shit Out Of Me?

EAT WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN!!!!!!!!

Ladies Wine Night

2005-11-01T19:12:00.000-05:00

ryan

kim, me, christine, jess

jeremie (dana passed out)

ashley is the one laying down

Last Thursday was Ladies Wine NIght. The girls from work (some couldn't come and we were really sad that Rachel couldn't be there) got together and drank. One girl can't go anywhere without her boyfriend. So, for some reason "Ladies Wine Night" wasn't clear enough for her. Also us telling her "no boys allowed" wasn't clear enough for her. When she arrived, she had her boyfriend in tow. We tried to understand why he was there and she explained that he is not over protective, she just feels weird when he's not around. (((issues))) Well, we don't feel comfortable when it's Ladies Wine Night and *he's* around! Plan was busted so then one of the girls called the boy she liked and he was over in 2.2 seconds. The get together was held at our friend Ryan's house. His roommate was out of town and Ryan was suppossed to be also. They left the keys with one of us. Turns out Ryan's buddy got sick and so he was not going out of town. follow? Anyway, Ryan did oblige to be out of his apartment for most of the night so us girls (and the two boys, blah) could sit around and gossip, watch Laguna Beach, drink wine and be silly. After a few hours, Jeremie, Ryan and a couple of his friends came over. Fun times.

We started brainstorming about another girl's night where we dress up, go downtown, wine and dine ourselves and get a room at the Westin and just be idiots, GIRL'S ONLY! Well, the girl with the boyfriend said, "well i just don't understand why [bf's name] can't come." Come the fuck on!

I Accept Your Apology

2005-11-01T19:10:00.000-05:00

I got an apology from the woman who thought I was sleeping with her husband. That was a little ackward too I must say.

Pictures That Inspire

2005-10-26T22:50:00.000-05:00

first off, i love this bag. it's from bunglaow360.com

secondly, as you can see by my posts tonight that i am really bored. that brings me to...

thirdly, these are pictures hanging next to my desk that i love. some of them i couldn't find on the internet and my scanner program thing isn't hooked up yet so i am only able to show you a couple...

this is a beautiful picture of Greta Garbo. this is my favorite shot of her. the pic i have is clearer. the look she is giving is amazing. her eyes will put you in a trance.

this is called "Icarus, Empire State Building, New York" it was taken in 1931 by Lewis Hine. i can't remember exactly but Icarus was a greek something or other who was able to fly and one day i think maybe he flew too close to the sun and his wings melted or burned up and did he die? i hope that's not what Lewis Hine is alluding to when he names the piece "icarus"

this is django reinhardt. i love his music.

this is a young bob dylan. taken by dan hunstein in NY in 1963.

fourthly, i'll stop posting now. thanks for being patient as i have been a stupid poster.

heh

2005-10-26T21:54:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to blog this but I just have to...

I have this friend who is married. I hang out with him a pretty good bit. It's usually in a big group of friends but sometimes it's just the two at the Applebee's ater work exchanging therapy sessions or philosophical converstaions. We are good friends. No doubt and no hiding it. His wife has come out on a few occasions and I thought we always got along. However, she is a drunk, crazy, serious issues kinda woman. Well, we were out the other night with a mid-sized group of people. She came along and everyone was having a dandy time. Until...

She turned around to me and said, "you're fucking my husband!"

I just dropped my jaw, giving myself a second to recover from the initial shock; I said, "you have got to be kidding me. we are strictly friends and you know it. I can't believe this [insert name here]."

I can't exactly remember what happened after that but I think we all left. I had ridden in their car earlier but, of course, didn't get a ride back with them. My friends, Rachel and Corey, gave me a ride home and we just were stunned.

Stupid story, just thought I'd share.

P.S. I won't be hanging out with my friend now as much as I used to, it's suck but I'm not about to get my tires slashed because bitch thinks I'm sleeping with her husband. It's actually the fact that I think she cheats on him and it's that guilty paranoia thing going on. This woman has more issues than anyone I have ever met in my life. I mean ser.i.ous. Come on, I haven't even had sex in two months and the last person I'd sleep with is my friend, even if he were single.

31 Q's

2005-10-26T19:25:00.000-05:00

why do i do this? because i have homework that i should be doing, that's why.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you:

Andy Roddick, Cameron Diaz, Warren Buffet, Mary Shelley, Ted Williams and Fred MacMurray (from "My 3 Sons, used ot love the reruns) oh and we can't forget Rich Cronin, everyone's favorite singer from LFO.

2. Where was your first kiss?

in the boy's kitchen

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?

not that i am aware of. i rolled the high school but i don't consider that serious vandalization. the cops did though.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?

yes. and i am sorry.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?

in elementary school with the rest of my class. once i had a rap solo in 4th grade. or was it 5th? laura has the video.

6.Whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

their clothes i guess. not in a shallow way, just their style.

7.What really turns you on?

humor.

8.What do you usually order from starbucks?

cider. but i have only had starbucks maybe three times.

9. What is your biggest mistake?

not taking life as seriously as i should have a few years ago but i have no regrets.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?

by staying in a bad relationship. i was thriving off it in a sick way and knew it was wrong, so i guess that's hurting yourself on purpose.

11. Say something totally random about you:

if you tickle me i will hit you. seriously.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?

that Linda Hamilton lady. i don't see it but random people have said that to me over the years even as recently as a couple months ago.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?

not really but i don't mind them. i own beauty and the beast, lion king, that sorta thing. sometimes i'll watch lizzie mcguire.

14. Did you have braces?

no.

15. Are you comfortable with your height?

sure.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?

wriiten me a beautiful poem. or maybe taken me on vacation out of know where.

17. When do you know it's love?

you just know.

18. Do you speak any other languages?

spanglish

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?

yes

20. What magazines do you read?

Real Simple, Domino, tabloid magazines every once in awhile

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?

once in NYC.
once for my senior year prom.

22.Has anyone you were really close with passed away?

yes. three friends and my grandma.

23.Do you watch mtv?

yes. as you know, Laguna Beach is my favorite.

24.What's something that really annoys you?

pretentiousness. also this one girl in my 2D class. everything about her annoys me. oh and customers who demand free stuff all the time, more bread, more lemons, more sauce, more, more, more.

25. What's something you really like?

food. rollercoaster. wine. music. reading.

26.Do you like Michael Jackson?

not anymore. remember the Jackson 5 trading cards, laura?

27 Can you dance?

only at concerts. i don't dance like club dancing. or if i'm drunk maybe i'll dance with my friend at the bar.

28.What's the longest/latest you have ever stayed up?

i don't know, maybe 2 days.

29.Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?

once i was falling off the side of a mountain and i thought if i don't die, i'm still fucked.

30.Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?

no.

31. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?

mostly.

That's all folks. This exciting Q & A was brought to you by our good friend Undr. If you want to learn more useless stuff about me you just have to ask.

I think my homework is banging down my door calling my name...

Shut Down Telemarketers

2005-10-26T18:48:00.000-05:00

It's funny how much telemarketers are hated. As well they should be. I, actually, at one time was a telemarketer for a good minute. I made pretty good money at it. The first business I worked for was a total scam, I mean not necessarily a scam but they did a shitty job. It was for carpet cleaning. We called rich people and old people. It was so wrong. Looking back I feel bad about it. There would be about 10 (give or take) of us and we'd sit around with about 15 pages of phone numbers and cold call for a good 4 hours or more. The second company arose from the first one who went under because our boss and his girlfriend (our manager) were on major speed and eventually couldn't keep it together.* They skipped town after all their furniture had been repo'd. Anyway, the second company was a good business for the most part. Telemarketing was easy excepting for cringing when you had to call a house over and over again because they suppossedly weren't there the evening before (or so their "nanny" said). It was also hell catching someone during dinner. I definetly got an earfull on numerous occasions. I don't know why I never really got a better job. I guess I was just comfortable there. We just sat and smoked cigarrettes and talked on the phone. Good money too.

Anyway, don't know why I just wrote all that. I usually forget about me being a telemarketer. That was my gig for about a year I guess. All right, so, telemarketing, right. As of September of this year, telemarketers are now allowed to call your cell phone. These calls will not only be annoying but for those that do not have unlimited minutes, they are using your minutes as well. And we know telemarketers call repeatedly. The good news is that you can register for free on the National Do Not Call Registry. Your home and/or your cell. Gratis! It takes less than two minutes to register (probably faster if you're not on dial-up). They send you an email confirmation and you just have to verify your info through email within 72 hours of registering. And viola! *hopefully* no calls...for 5 years! You can also register complaints about unwanted phone soliciting on the same website. The link is at the top y'all**. And here it is again just incase it's not up top... www.donotcall.gov ***

*not to mention everyone but me would go to the back and huff free-on when we had our lunch or dinner breaks. yeah, that was a bit uncomfortable for me. especially the first time i was asked to go back there, i was just kinda like, "um, yeah, thanks but no thanks".

**so i just figured out that if you click on the title of this post, it should direct you straight to the link. you guys probably already knew that, but just in case.

***please tell me why my link button doesn't appear on my computer! this is getting old!

Forgot To Tell Ya...

2005-10-25T16:16:00.000-05:00

I went to see the professor about the Italy trip and...

all the spots are taken. I was heartbroken. I am such a crybaby AND I didn't cry, that is huge for me!

He said I could be put on the "alternates" list because sometimes people end up not being able to go. I think at this point though, I don't want to be put on a waiting list. I can't totally plan for something that I might end up not doing. I can't get my hopes up just waiting for someone to drop out of the trip. Also, I wouldn't be the only one on the waiting list. I will probably just wait for the next Italy trip. They are offering summer semester in Ireland. I would love, love, love to spend the summer in Ireland but I'd rather invest that money towards Italy in the future. My mom has already started taking my Sunday tips (which is another reason I am so broke) and hiding them from me to save for Italy. I'll just let her continue to do that for another Italy opportunity. My friend, Karen, from school says she heard about a mini-trip to New York City. So maybe some of that money can go to touring NYC with my art department. Don't know any details about it but she's investigating. I want to go with her too because she is awesome.

So, in the end, I am still heartbroken about Italy but I think it worked out for whatever reason unbeknownst to me. I don't want to dwell on it for too long or it will really upset me.

And Just One More Reason...

2005-10-25T01:02:00.000-05:00

that I hate Sundays is because the Falcons usually play on Sundays and I can only watch bits of the game on the bar TVs while i am working.

BUT lucky me, there's Monday Night Football. The two Falcons games that I have watched in their entirety are the Monday Night Football games. They beat the Jets tonight. I went out to watch the game with a few friends and drank $1 beers. Yes, $1 Amberbochs, can't beat it.

Falcons are 5-2 thus far.

Go Falcons.

Sundays

2005-10-23T21:57:00.000-05:00

With the exception of this Sunday in particular...

Fuck Sundays.

Someone picked up my shift today at work. I got bitched at by my boss because I was supossed to train today. She tried to guilt trip me into taking my shift back. I wasn't having it. Fuck training. And fuck Sundays.

I open that place EVERY Sunday. The last time I was not there at 12 on Sunday was the first week of August when I went to Colorado. I have put in request after request saying that I can no longer open on Sundays. Each one has been ignored. It will end.

Sundays suck because I bust my ass on Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night. By noon on Sunday my ass is worn out. I am dazed. I ache. I bitch. A lot. Sundays make me bitter, they also don't produce any income. So, in addition to hating Sundays, I hate Sunday customers. I hate the church people who just tipped God so they are out of money when it comes to me. I hate the teenagers whose parents drop them off to eat a $8 hamburger, drink 47.5 Cokes and consume 8 loaves of free bread and leave me 50 cents. I hate ghetto fucks that can afford extra shots in their drinks and add on lobster tails and 'skrimp' and then tip you two ones on $63. I love old people but not when they come in and sit in my section. They drink water, split their meal and sit an extra hour drinking coffee, I get a $3 tip. I am bitter, I am sorry. I could go on much more but real quick let's talk about the family's and their kids who dribble all over the table, scream and cry and mush up mac and cheese all over the table and high chair and then drop their cheerios all over the floor. There are kids that think the sugar caddy is their toy and some kids that enjoy licking the top of the salt shaker. There are kids that love to run around the restaurant and tug on server's pant legs when that server is carry a very heavy tray. And people, the reason I hate these people is because they don't tip me enough. If they did I would be bragging on these fuckers but that is obviously not the case.

Maybe I should quit you say. Nope. I love my job so much. I love the people I work with so so so much. I just hate the interacting with the customers part. You say maybe I don't get tips because they can feel my negativity. Nope they don't. I am just a laughing ray of sunshine on the floor. I bust my ass for you and make you smile and you love me! You tell me so! You just tip me verbally. People, words don't pay the bills, tuition, gas, etc.

Okay, so I had today off. I don't know why all of the sudden I just typed all of that. I was purging I guess. All I intended to write was small and simple.

Things I failed to accomplish today:

- still life using conte
- paper bag still life using conte
- black and white value composition
- shower

Things I accomplished today:

- being awake for a total of 6 hours
- 2 naps
- one load of laundry

and I have a message for my best friend:
Laura, I love you and I am so sorry that I am about the worst friend ever. Your present still has yet to be sent. I know your birthday was weeks ago. I entertained the thoughht of sending it today but it's Sunday.* I know, I know, I know. I am overwhelmed and sorry. I love you.

*more reasons as to why Sundays suck:

- post office is closed
- Chick-Fil-A is closed
- bank is closed
- Blue Laws

WSP, 10/15/05

2005-10-18T14:35:00.000-05:00

pictures, going in reverse order...as always.

Mom after the show.

the band, Todd on Drums, Schools on bass

Patterson Hood, of the DBT in green, George McConnell on left, JB on right, JoJo in back

PH again, JB on left

George, PH, JB

JB

Sonny

GM, PH, JB

John Neff, of the DBT, on pedal steel guitar

George McConnell

me and my mom, in the back was this dude named Craig from Cabbagetown. he looks really scary here.

the band

my mom and me

my mom right before the show, carrying our $3 tiny beers while i snap the shot. her ear plugs are going in in about one minute.

me and my mom in the lot.

mom in the lot. the weather was absolutely beautiful. perfect lot weather.

mom in the lot.

this is right before we head out. we started it by eating lunch and having a margarita at the mexican restaurant right around the corner. we went home, packed our beer and hit the road. it took about an hour and 45 minutes to get to macon. i bought a poster for my mom as a momento. it has the name and date of her first (and last) show.

Widespread Panic
October 15, 2005
Macon Centreplex
Macon, Georgia

Setlist:

1: Papa Legba, Little Kin, Jack, 1X1, Casa, Weight of the World, Pickin' Up The Pieces*, Down*, Give, Love Tractor
2: Ribs And Whiskey, Low Rider, Blight, Don't Wanna Lose You**, Come Together***, Monstrosity, Barstools and Dreamers, B of D, Chilly Water > Drums > Baby, Let Me Follow You Down > Chilly Water
E: Junco Partner > Flat Foot Flewzy

* with Randall Bramblett on saxophone
** with John Neff on pedal steel
*** with Patterson Hood on vocals
[Drive-By Truckers opened]

personal notes-

nice opener.
Legba- one of their lighting tech had dies that day or the day before so Legba was appropriate.
Little Kin- excellent
Jack- one of my most favorite tunes. excellent.
1x1- well played, good tune.
Casa- blah
Weight-good.
Pickin'- excellent. jam consisted of too much George but what are you gonna do. it's times like these that it makes me cringe that Mikey is so greatly missed.
Down- excellent. love this song.
Give- good.
Love Tractor- good, always high energy.

lovely second set opener.
RnW- love this song and it was played extra sweet. usually over played nowadays but still love it no matter what.
Low Rider- usually don't like it when they play this song but it was played well and there you have it, it was there.
Blight- awesome. one of my most favorites. John Neff on steel added a lot to the song. it was tight.
DWLY- this song was released after Mikey died. and I'm not a huge fan of post-MH Panic songwriting but I really really love this song. the ending is beautiful. for me this song is so multi-dimensional. it didn't bring a tear to my eye but it usually does. it was played really well but i know there were points when i just wish george would stop wailing on his guitar. there is so much pain and comfort in this song. i feel like JB is really vulnerable when he plays this.
Come Together- awesome. Patterson Hood kicks so much ass. I love his voice and energy. He sang most of the vocals. I would love to hear PH play "Why Don't We Do It in the Road" (another Beatles cover) with Panic. but that's maybe only b/c i am in love with Patterson.
Monstrosity- all right
Barstools- good but kind of all right at the same time. One of my favorites, it was lacking the sharp, clean guitar. i was hoping for a "satisfied" rap, would have made it better but probably best that it wasn't played b/c really, i am no longer satisfied. and you know, we don't want "satisfied" played in vain.
BofD- all right. maybe better than Monsrosity but about the same.
Chilly- love it. they have really turned this song out to be rockin. not one of the best versions but great nonetheless.
Drums- good, not great. it's mini-drums these days, Sonny's getting tired (and so was my mom).
Baby- good song. played all right. never heard it before. don't know anything about it. it was good to the ears. would have been better replaced with "Drivin" then back into "Chilly". that would have personally made me cry.
Chilly- back into Chilly. their most favorite sandwiching song. set ender. i'm just glad it wasn't like "one armed steve" or "nobody's loss". love chilly water though.

encore:
Junco- also one of my favorites. so much fun to dance to. played all right.
FFF- get tired of this one, staurday night, very predictable but still fun. the last two songs were the songs that i shook my ass to the most.

rating out of 10- i give this show a 7.5 for postMH Panic. i started at 7, took down 2 points for Bramblett, upped a point for John Neff, upped another point and a half for PHood.

aahhh, please, randall, why do you keep reappearing?!

thank the Lord i didn't hear "Old Joe" or "All Time Low" or whatever else kind of crap they like to dish out at encore.

Truckers were good. super super loud. not as much in-your-face as i had hoped for but very glad i saw them. would like to see them again but in a more intimate venue. plus the acoustics sucked in the Macon auditorium.

the only person i saw was patrick on the way in. never ran nito him again. i saw paulie from afar but too far for him to hear me. that was it. no matt, thank god. i called billy to see if he was going, he never called me back.

the next night i had a dream about matt that he saw me at a bar and grabbed me from the back and started kissing me. he had gained about 50 pounds and had an earring in his ear. yikes. i felt weird after the dream was over.

Apology

2005-10-18T14:09:00.000-05:00

T called after we had the not-so-pleasant conversation. He left a message on my cell phone profusely apologizing. He said he was sorry about being hypocritical and talking shit about me going to school. He was saying stuff out of anger, he didn't mean the things that he said, etc. He stated that his frustration had turned into anger and he took it out on me. You know how sometimes when you feel like shit you try and make someone else feel like shit so you are not miserable alone? Well, that's basically what happened. He told me via the voicemail that he is having a hard time handling the fact that he is not my top priority*. I have other things going on and I am not paying the same attention to him as I used to.** I honestly think that he is sorry but when our last conversation ended, i said to him, "see this is why I don't talk to you anymore". I stand by that. I can't continue to assist in dragging this out. I love him and I care for him deeply but I have to live my own life as well. When he is in a better place then maybe a friendship can thrive but not in the place where he is standing right now.

I have not returned his call. I am still contemplating whether or not I should call and tell him what's on my mind, then just leave it at that.

*understandably difficult to deal with, i know. he's the one that broke-up with me in the first place. i have been dumped before as well. not being at the top of the list is hard to deal with when you were there for so long.

**it's also not even that i have other things going on, if i still enjoyed his company i would make time. it's just that he is not happy with his situation and it sucks the life right out of me. my spirit will not be oppressed.

Since 30 Is the New 20, Happy 20th!

2005-10-18T14:04:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, LIC!

I hope your 30th year is the best yet.

Dinner is on me one of these nights (it could be two months from now but it *will* be before your 31st).

Pot Calling the Kettle Black, Part II

2005-10-14T23:08:00.000-05:00

Actually there is no "Pot Calling the Kettle Black, part I". I had intentions of posting it but just never had the energy to relive it in text.

So, the falling out that T and I had was basically him being hypocritical. Highly hypocritical. I let it go, whatever. We stopped talking and my life went on. He called one day to apologize. I accepted his apology but still kept a nice distance from him. I talked to him one day and he started attacking me about something I had done. He went off and basically just made a bunch of assumptions about what I was doing, who I was with and the stupid decisions I make. I told him, "this is why I don't talk to you, I can't tell you anything without you being very presumptuous and in a very volatile way." We again stopped talking for a week. He called tonight and we chatted for a bit. It gets really old when you have to carry the conversation every time. It finally came to a point where he wanted to start throwing punches I guess. It started off with me saying how he always makes the worst assumtions and attacks me verbally for decisions, that I as a grown woman, make. I again remind him how I am being responsible (which he's not around to see so he doesn't trust it) and how I just went back to school after 6 years and all that. He says in so many words, "you are in *art* school, where's that gonna get you? art school, j. you are living at your parent's and you are a waitress." This is when I cut in an say, "is your life that crappy that this is the only thing that gives you satisfaction is to cut in on me? Do you *want* to start throwing punches?"

And thus, Pot meet Kettle. The converstaion ended about 2.2 after that. You can talk to me when you have a steady job, a car, and are not drowning in your issues.

I honestly don't have time to wait until he figures out all the baggage that he's carrying. I have my own thank you very much.

Fuckin' A.

Panic Time

2005-10-14T13:33:00.000-05:00

My friend, Chris, mentioned to me last night that Panic (link: www.widespreadpanic.com) is playing in Macon tomorrow night. I have not seen them since they have returned from "hiatus". Nor have I really cared to. The last time I saw Panic play was their last show on New Years before their break, 12-31-03. Well, last night when Chris mentioned the show I got that feeling inside me and I jumped all over it. I really am excited about seeing them. My friend Rachel might come with me. My mom is for sure going. I already got our tickets. My mom will totally be out of her element but I want her to get a taste of what my most favorite hobby used to be. She has been wanting to go and I have been wanting to take her but in the past it just never happened. My brother wanted to take her to see the Dead, she kept putting it off, then Jerry died. She regrets it. Well, Mikey has died and she regrets not seeing the original Panic with me. I figured now is a good time. It won't be the same but it'll still be fun. AND the best news about seeing Panic is that the Truckers (link: www.drivebytruckers.com) are opening. I am so completely ecstatic about that. I have been wanting to see them forever. Every time they play somewhere, something always comes up to where I cann't go. I have been so frustrated about that. They are one of my favorite bands and it sucks that I haven't seen them live. I'm sure I'll run into people I know down there. I think people will make an extra effort to go to this one show in particular because it's close to home and the Truckers are opening.

I hope I don't run into Matt.

I'm so excited.

EDIT- I LIED. i have no brains cells. i forgot that i saw Panic this past spring. I even posted in my blog about it i believe. obviously it was a memorable show (sarcasim high). so this will be my second show post-hiatus. whatever, i pumped about the Truckers.

p.s. Rachel cannot go. she has some shit to deal with and going to Macon is the last thing she's thinking about.

Nat'l Geographic Pics

2005-10-13T15:31:00.000-05:00

National Geographic rules your face.

archaeologists recently escavated a container that was holding noodles. these noodles are around 4,000 years old. this is the very first evidence of the food. also, it disproves that the italian were the first to make noodles.

i know we have all heard the story about the python in the florida everglades attempting to eat the gator. i saw the picture for the first time today. and you thought swallowing down the wrong pipe hurts. holy shit.

I Miss

2005-10-13T14:23:00.000-05:00

Anney. I saw her dad come into OB the other night. I was there taking my wine test. I didn't make eye contact just because I wouldn't have known what to say. I know he saw me though. I hope he tells Anney that he saw me. I know I should somehow get intouch with her just so all these dreams I keep having will go away.

Mid-Term

2005-10-12T23:12:00.000-05:00

I love school.

This is how I stand in my drawing class, I have a high B. He rarely passes out A's. I will still strive for an A but am extremely estatic that I have a B+. I was a bit surprised. He said I should be straight for the rest of the semester as long as I just keep up the good work. I am scared I'll drop to a C because I just jinxed myself.

In class today I participated in my first critique. It was fine. I was really nervous and kind of shaking. My still life was good though so I was pretty confident. The only bad thing was that my professor and others said the fabric background fabric looked fake. I completely agreed. It was fake, I imagined it in my head. He let me bring it home to work on. The funny thing was the part that I dreaded the most (the fabric on the table) turned out really well. The class really liked mine and really only said good things. They even kept refering back to mine to site examples of good work. I'd say it was the third best in the class. I was kind of surprised how crappy some of them looked. But, like I said before, that's probably because I spent more time on mine.

I have an A in my 2D class. If I maintain perfect attendence until last class then I will be upped a letter grade. I should get an A in this class no matter what...I hope.

Remember that online math class? Yeah, me either*. I dropped that baby at the end of August. I will most likely take it as my only course during summer semester. All of my mom's math teacher friend's from school will be out of school for the summer and they are determined to get me through math. We will be by the pool, sunning and studying. I'm glad I have a math team behind me because it's going to take just that.

And one last thing, I officially no longer hate my drawing teacher. He is not a prick. I like him a lot actually.

*and real quick...
is it "me either" or "me neither". grammatically i think it's the first but verbally i use the latter.

Weekend Wrap-Up

2005-10-12T08:41:00.000-05:00

it was a long weekend here in the L. i just want to jot down a very brief chronology just so i don't forget.

friday night- get off work. go to woody's (the bar) and hang out with friends from work. there til close. then go to ryan's friend, jimmy's house. jamal anderson is there. he's kind of a sissy. whatever. stay there til 5. go to jeremy's with corey and christina, talk til 7. go to sleep.

saturday night- get off work. go to trey's birthday party. totaled corvette boy is there. stupid aggressive boy hormones everywhere. it felt like high school. actually i didn't even see this shit on high school. i guess b/c i didn't hang out with "whiggers". vanilla ice throw backs. i love trey but the people he associates with are lame. jamal anderson showed up. kim and i didn't fall asleep until about 6 at jeremy's. opened work at noon.

i am leaving about 90% of the details out to save on gossip, drama, and (non self) incriminating evidence.

Breakthrough

2005-10-12T01:16:00.000-05:00

There is a fine line between character and behavior. My character is very deep. My behavior doesn't necessarily refect my character as much as I try. I just wish people knew. I'm trying. I also try and see the difference in others. I know but it is so hard to act on it; even within my self.

Namaste. LIVE it.

I *know* all of this but it is a world of difference when you just *try* and put it into words; even when words cannot exactly articulate it.

I pray for a better community...for a better world; it starts with a better self.

In Other Reality News

2005-10-10T21:50:00.000-05:00

For my 2D design class I had to come up with 12 patterns and then recreate 12 textures from something. So all in all I had to have 24 2x2" squares. I got graded on them today and she wanted to keep mine to photocopy to show other students examples and the correct way it should be done. I was pretty happy about that.

My prick drawing teacher is starting to hate me less. Which in turn makes me hate him less. Actually now I like him more every class. We joke around and he laughs at my jokes. Last week he came and sat down with me before my 2D class and we talked about non-school stuff so that was nice. I think that he was being a jerk mostly in the beginning because he was weeding students out and being hard on us so we'd realize how critical art can be. He certainly weeded people out. We started with 21 students and now we are down to maybe 14. It's also midterm so we are about to lose more from both of my classes. Robbie Rob (not his name but my nickname for him) thinks my still life (the dirty snowman one) is good and he helped me with my fabric texture a lot and was nice about it, not a dick. The still life is due on Wednesday. It's not completely finished but I don't have time to go back up to the studio to work on it before it's due. Mine is one of the best in the class but I think that's probably only because it's far more finished than most. Last Monday my teacher went home sick after only 15 minutes of class. I stayed with a couple others and continued to work on it. Most girls* left after about 20 minutes. I knew I had to stay or I would have gotten an F. We didn't work on it last Wednesday because that's the day we went outside and drew for 3 hours in the perfect weather. I drew the entrance to the student union. We had to utilize atmospheric perspective. Anyway, I'll leave it how it is and hopefully get a B on it (he rarely hands out A's).

In my 2D class, this boy, Kit, said that he has an extra easel I can have. For free! I hope he remembers to bring it to school for me. Good easels are extremely costly. The one he's giving me isn't that great but it'll do for now while I save up for a really nice one that'll last forever. It's no wonder they call artists "starving artists". Being an artist is ex.pen.sive! With the cost of all of everything, I will never be able to afford to leave my parent's house. But I love art school and I am super happy.

During smoke break today we messed with a huge pile of ants. heh.

For dinner tonight I had the best nachos. The picture doesn't reflect how yummy it was but I'm showing you anyway. I added banana peppers to it. Best idea ever. Banana peppers are the shit.

*in my drawing class there is only one boy, his name is Aaron. in my 2D class there are two, Aaron and Kit.

Oh No She Dit'int!

2005-10-10T21:29:00.000-05:00

Just saw the preview for next weeks Laguna Beach... Jason likes LC and he asks her out on a date and she says yes! I love Lauren but Jason is such a skeez. I hope that she doesn't start dating him. I will be looking forward to Alex and Jessica's reactions though. Lauren is so beautiful. Also, Kristen is a total bitch to Talan and that sucks because I think I love Talan. This weeks episode was okay. It was their last prom. It was rude of Kristen to ditch Talan, it was rude of Jason to take a sophomore then make out with Alex the whole time and it was really really wrong of Casey to wear such a trashy dress.

It's scary how much I love this show.

A Mere 27 Years Ago...

2005-10-06T23:37:00.000-05:00

Laura was born!!!

The Libra’s symbol is scales. Libras are thought to be diplomatic, intelligent, and thoughtful. They crave romantic relationships and have a strong sense of justice. They desire harmony in all situations.

Laura is very Libra. We love Libras. Yo-Yo Ma shares your birthday, born in 1955, he's 23 years older than you. One year before you were born, 1977, guitarist Steve Hackett quits Genesis, what a bummer. On your exact date of birth, October 7, 1978, Merle Haggard and Leone Williams marry. In 2003, the people spoke and California Governor Gray Davis was replaced by The Terminator!

I did the research myself, nowhere on the world wide web will you see all of that on one website (except for mine now).

And now for the Parade of Birthday Wishes...

Hapa made it all the way from Hawaii to wish you a special birthday!

Wooden Figure Man is wearing his birthday suit just for you! (Luckily the sign is covering his woody. hahaha)

The Dude reincarnate loves you!

Can you believe this pic was taken about 6 years ago?!

Happy Birthday from Michael Vick! (We love him but watch out!...he has herpes)

Jesus says that you are his birthday homegirl!

Ramona Quimby, Age 8 says "Laura B., Age 27, Happy Birthday"

Buddah is meditating, shhh...

When he found out it was your birthday all he could say was "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh Boy, Oh Boy!" over and over and over again.

And last but certainly not least, the young, sexy Bob Dylan says, "i'll give you a birthday to remember!"

_____________________________________________________

Laura, I love you! Happy Birthday!!!! I have been supremely blessed to have had you in my life for twenty-seven years. Each birthday is not only a celebration of your birth but also a celebration of another year of our friendship. I wish I could be there to celebrate. Lots of hugs and kisses, Jeanne

Driving

2005-10-06T13:07:00.000-05:00

Proud As A Peacock

2005-10-06T13:01:00.000-05:00

My Graphite Still Life that's hanging in the hall.

Dogs Make Me Happy

2005-10-06T12:52:00.000-05:00

I was behind these happy guys for about 20 minutes on my commute to school yesterday morning. They were in heaven.

Perfect

2005-10-06T00:04:00.000-05:00

Today was one of those days. Perfect Days. Today was one of the best days of my life. One of those days where life is gentle and just right...no "special events" but just an easy going beautiful day, capped with "Pilgrims".

I'll probably post the chronology of it tomorrow.

Bits of the Day: Dogs dancing in the wind, easy classes in the breezy sun, horses kissing on each other, a nice glass of wine, leaves falling, music, PERFECT weather and all good thoughts.

p.s. i hope this is a taste of what the near future holds. (((( i hate to jinx it though )))).

Graphite Still Life

2005-10-04T22:19:00.000-05:00

Here is a picture of my unfinished still life that is due tomorrow. In my picture I must have 4 different textures, 2 natural, 2 manmade. The picture is hard to see, it's darker in real life.

notes:
pine cones are very hard to draw. and i don't have the patience.
kung-fu fighting/singing/spike-swinging hamster was hard.
i used my paper stub a lot.
i drank two cans of coke. that might be the most caffeine i've had in years. i am very fidgety right now.
a project like this should not be completed in under 6 hours (that's my goal), i still have about an hour left on it.
wish me luck, i seriously slacked on this one.

p.s. the key finally came out of the ignition after finally being able to start up the car. i drove it around the block, parked, key came out. i was happy. the end.

p.p.s. still have to go to T's house before school to pick up the spare just in case. i don't want to be parked somewhere and have to leave my car unlocked if this happens again.

EDIT-

By Request...

2005-10-04T15:06:00.000-05:00

Undr asked one time that I share my drawings. I will share what I can. My professors take up all our work and hold the pieces until the end of the semester. I have only a couple things, mostly inclass excercises. The one charcoal still life is what we have been working on in class, it will be due tomorrow. The charcoal still life I spoke about in my last post is one I have yet to start, it is also due tomorrow.

One of my graphite still lifes* is hanging in the hallway of the art department, I was so proud when I saw it hanging. It was better than I had even originally thought.

*i like "still lifes" because even though I'm sure "still lives" is the correct way to say it, it just sounds funny to me

close-up of the speckled two-headed squash. i like to call him the dirty snowman.

this is the charcoal stil life due tomorrow. it consists of 2 types of fabic, a double headed squash (which is really specklely), a yam, 2 apples and a decaying turnip (it was ripe when we started. there was also supossed to be another turnip there but it decayed much too quickly that it had to be thrown out). this still life is a bit rushed because the foods are dying so we didn't have as much time to work on it. i might still work on it a bit, it needs refining. and basically, i suck at drawing fabric. the hanging fabric in the back is fairly good but all the fabric that the stuff is sitting on sucks ass. it's hard, people.

this was a quick inclass study on shadowing. that ball is supossed to look like it's about to roll off the page. charcoal.

this was a homework excercise on one point perspective.

this was a quick inclass exercise in negative space. the picture is of stools stacked and jumbled. we were not allowed to draw the stools. we had to fill in the negative space around the stools which in turn draws the objects themselves. charcoal.

this was an inclass study on shapes and making them appear 3-D. it's kinda messed up. this was from one of the first days of class. graphite.

What Happens When...

2005-10-04T14:20:00.000-05:00

You eat a bowl of banana peppers right before bed?

You dream about Kevin Bacon and his wife Keira Sedgewick getting kicked out of a bar before they even order a drink. You later find out that they were there for their cousin (not in real life), Courtney Cox's birthday party. You are at this bar but are not upset because you aren't really a fan of Kevin Bacon anyway.

Your car just had $900 worth of work on it last week?

You return home from running errands and your key will not come out of the ignition, it will also NOT start you engine. You turn the radio off so it doesn't run down the battery. You also leave the keys in the ignition in an unlocked car because the closest copy of your key is an hour away at your ex-boyfriend's house. I am actually begging for someone to steal this car clear out of the driveway, that is if they can even get it to start.

Your best friend's birthday is in 3 days?

Start panicing because you are down to half a tank of gas, you're car doesn't start, you just spent $50 on books for school (taking the total for money spent on school supplies to...$650) and you have $25 left to your name. Present? It'll be 2 weeks late. (hi, laura, i love you, call me)

You have a charcoal still life due tomorrow and you haven't even started yet?

Procrastinate until you only have like 2 hours to do it. You could have started it a week ago when it was assigned but that's just not your style. heh

Jesus Built My Hotrod

2005-10-01T13:54:00.000-05:00

So, I got my car back the same day it was fixed. She's all healthy. I also forgot that the whole reason for passing emissions was to get the 2006 tag sticker. That cost me an additional $75. My bank account is down to $25. It's just lovely. And of course gas prices are rising and I commute an hour to school.

Along with all that expensive nonsense...the mechanic tried to save my soul. I am a very spiritual person, however, I must look like I am going to hell. I wouldn't think so, I look fairly innocent and normal. Actually, I *am* fairly innocent and normal. I get these people all the time though that are trying to wash my blood off their hands by sharing with me the secret to get into heaven. Maybe it's because people find it easy to talk to me. I get all kinds of people...a girl at work said I attract these people because I am too personable. Regardless... I want to build a relationship with this mechanic shop because it's a good thing to do. Well, Keith the Mechanic deicided to fill me in on God's plan for me. My mom had dropped me off to pick up my car, she knew in the first second that she needed to get out while she could. I was left there alone. He talked and talked and talked. He talked some more. Then some more. Ususally I am too polite to say "I have to run" or whatever. But my mom had called me to say dinner was on the table, I relayed the message to him, he didn't care. She called to tell me that a friend had stopped by the house to see me (which was a lie), he didn't care. Keith (god bless his heart) was trying to uplift me with the power of the Lord. With every word he spoke, I moved closer to my car, I sat down, put the seat belt on, turned the engine on, he continued to talk and talk and talk. He said that because I am single that I should try going to church to find my life mate. He recommmended his church, the Pentacostal church. The one in the mountains (he lives in the North GA. mountains) where they dance in the middle of the aisles and speak in tonuges. He told me that if the preacher was preachin' and I felt the itchin' in my body to get up and holler and shake a leg, that in his church, the rural mountain Pentacostal church, I could do so and no one would bat an eye. He made no mention of snake handeling but I wouldn't be surprised if they were that charismatic of a church. Anyway, I don't know how it all ended but I somehow got away, I think I just blocked it out, after about 45 minutes plus of nodding my head and saying, "uh huh" "i agree" "sure" "totally", you get the point, a haze came over me and I think the Lord saved me from Keith, the Good Lord carried me away. However, Keith planted the seed like he had intended and I'm sure he would be disappointed to know, the seed has withered and died.

Random

2005-09-27T17:17:00.000-05:00

Today I spent $700 on car parts. All on my own. But at this point I am so broke my mom has to help me pay for the labor because I have some of the money but not all of it. My little car will be picked up tomorrow and will hopefully be all healthy. It has to then pass emissions testing on Friday.

Also I wanted to share a bizarre moment from the other day. I was awake in the morning, the morning after the gasoline incident, and I was watching TV. Martha Stewart's live talk show was on. She had Ben Vereen and Liza Minelli on. They were helping her cook klive crawfish. Then Liza was sucking the heads off the cooked crawfish and talking to the live ones. And it was just a bit surreal. That's all.

Re: Laguna Beach- I am getting really tired of Jessica and her Jason whining, wanting, lying, etc. And I love Stephen and I wish Kristen was nicer to him and Talon too. And that girl Casey is the fakest form of a human being. It's repulsive.

I've Been Let Back In

2005-09-23T11:55:00.000-05:00

For some reason Blogger.com would not let me into my blog for the last few days. Every time I tried to login, the page would just dissappear and I would just say, "fuck it". Lo and behold, I tried today and I have gained re-entry. I know you all are wiping the sweat off your brow.

Nothing too detailed today...

Last Thursday night my friends and I went out. I got wasted like it was 1999. I haven't been that drunk in many many months. I enjoyed it however the next day I was super naucious and throwing up before I went into work. While we were out the night before this girl offered me crack. I told her that I didn't do that and she still insisted. She was on crack, she was determined. She asked me about 4 different times to go to the bathroom with her. She tried to hold my hand kindly and take me out of the bar to smoke it in her car. In a box with a fox. In a house with a mouse. She showed me the crack she scored, my mouth dropped. She asked if I had a "stem" or "shooter" to do the crack. I don't know why this girl was so determined to turn me into a crack head. I think really she was lonely after her boo had left her at the bar after smoking their blunt (not being condesending (is that the right word?), these are the terms and facts stated). She got kicked out of the bar shortly after. I'm glad I was sober enough at that point to really take in what had happened.

Later that night at a different bar (three sheets to the wind at this point), the bar was closed and we were in the parking lot. There was a fight. Don't know who the people are. I have the bright idea that maybe I could settle the fight with a little peacemaking talk. Didn't work. I fell over on some dude and my arm got aggresively grabbed at one point and now I have a humongous bruise that covers the whole upper right arm. I busted up my toe and it bled all over my pretty heels.

This past Wednesday I went to a friends house. We were going to have some wine and dinner and watch her program, "Lost". That all worked out well and it was nice and her apartment kicks ass. Dinner was delish and the wine was super delish. Anyway, we were heading back to the store for another bottle of wine but had to make a pitstop at the gas station first because I was waay below empty. We are at the pump, pumping and taking. I only wanted $10 worth so as it neared I let go of the handle but the handle wouldn't stop pumping. The handle was jammed. It was jammed and wouldn't stop pumping the very expensive gasoline. I figured that if I maybe pull it out a bit (not all the way) some sensor would feel it and it would stop pumping. You know, there's a sensor that knows when your tank is full and it stops. The sensor knows if the nozzle is still in your car or hung up. I figured the nozzle sensor might be able to save me. No such fucking luck. As I pulled on the nozzle a bit, the pressure of the pumping gas shot the nozzle right out of the gas tank and was gushing gas everywhere, all over the ground, all over the car and of course all over me and my friend. Somehow miraculously the handle stopped pumping gas. However, we were soaked with gasoline. We went inside to tell the gas guy and I was waiting patiently in line and he says, with his nose squinshing, "do you smell that". I said, "yeah, that's what I was in hear to tell you, your pump jammed and sprayed gas everywhere." He was offering free soda and gave us one of those yellow "out of order" baggies to put on the pump.

I still can't get the gasoline smell out of my clothes after washing them a few times, it is getting better though. I just scrubbed my sandals but they are Birkenstocks and I'm afraid that the gas sank all the way through the cork soles and will always have a faint smell of gas. I exfoliated my skin in the shower until I was raw because the smell just wouldn't go away. Now, the slightest smell of gas makes my head spin. I have to put more gas in my car today and I am a wee bit scared.

The next day after gas-spewing-mania 2005, I awoke at about 5:45 in the morning high off gasoline and dizzy. I couldn't sleep so I stared at all the texture and value (things I am learning in art class) on every item in the room including the walls. I proceeded to jot some things down in a really high fashion.

word for word by the way...

page 1- "we sprayed gas all over us. I called T. even after all that is against it. His his Mom's answering machine. 9.22.02 (technically) I am high off spilled gas. I love Italy."

page 2- "I totally use the word "totally" too much. In my dream I just had, I totally just mastered the art of making elipses in these tower things. And I was master painter because I got texture down! gas smells. Now I notice value in everything."

page 3- "when I realized it:
Shawn: you wanna grab dinner?
me: I can't, I have plans with a friend.
Shawn: okay, talk to you later.
me: Yeah, I'll totally talk to you later."

page 4- "like a 3rd grade school girl who has a Vally Girl problem. circa 1991 Laura pinched me everytime I said "dude". I wish she were around, thing is though...I'm 27 and should have more self control."

this page was from right after I called T, this was before I went to bed and it is written in the messist scribble of them all- "I miss T. very much. I jsut called him after staying at LIC's and getting gas all over us. I miss you."

few side notes...

I did call T. I don't know what possessed me. Luckily he didn't answer. He did return my call about an hour later but I was fast asleep at that point and didn't hear the phone. He didn't leave a message. whew. I did jot something down about his mom's answering machine but I am very confident that I didn't leave a message. also take note that I thought it was 2002.

I have been cussing way too much lately. But somehow the cussing got replaced with the word "totally". I am on a strict language diet right now. I am watching the cussing and monitering my use of "totally". So far so good, but it's only been 2 days.

the letters LIC are my friend's initials.

When I was saying "dude" a lot, Laura would pinch me everytime I said it. It worked and I stopped over using the word. I do have self control and have cut back but I still just wish she were around because I love her. And speaking of Laura, I called her that night as well. I think I just told her on the voicemail that I love her very much. I do believe I said it over and over again.

Volunteering

2005-09-14T22:53:00.000-05:00

I am volunteering this weekend. It's not for the Red Cross or the Salvation Army (like I should be doing) but it is for my school. We are having an arts festival for kids. The reason being that we are supplementing what they are missing in their schools since art and music education funding has been cut back (if not pulled from schools entirely). They will enjoy a full day of art, theatre and music. I will be there and I have maybe the slightest idea of what I will be doing... papermaking or ceramics, either of which I know nothing about for the most part. They won't know the difference anyway.

I'm glad I'm helping out and I'm also glad I don't have to waitress that night.

And...

2005-09-14T22:48:00.000-05:00

BAM!

Word Verification has been found and activated.

Fuckin' spam. Don't they understand I'm trying to rock the world by creating the most amazing blog ever and that their spam will run off my many (one to three) readers?

Nos.

2005-09-14T21:45:00.000-05:00

My numbers are 5 and 10.

Holy Cow!

2005-09-14T21:06:00.000-05:00

I think I'm going to Italy in May! That's all I know for now. I am so excited I want to cry or go on a roller coaster. I get all the details Monday. And nevermind the "think", I am going!

P.S. anyone on MySpace? I know that Undr might be my only reader but just in case...
I don't go on it very often but there are days when I do a lot of curiosity searches. Anyway, just wondering.

Happenings of the Day

2005-09-13T00:55:00.000-05:00

In LA today, about 2 million customers of one of the two major power companies were without electricity. Workers cut a group of wires that caused the power to trip instead of cutting the wires individually. I bet they'll highlight this technique in the training manual from now on.

I went to school. My professor gave me a back-handed compliment...
preface- We had a homework assignment to do and we all did a crappy job, basically because he didn't instruct us on how we should do it correctly. So, he gave us another opportunity to rework our drawings.
story- We turned them in and he called me up to his desk. After reveiwing my reworked pictures with me he said "these are great." (awesome for me!) Then he said, "did you do these?" And he didn't say it in the way of "*wow* you did these!?!?", he was seriously asking me if someone else did them for me. I said "are you kidding me?" He then said, "okay" and dismissed me back to my easel. What a fucker. I just basically told him that just because I suck at still lifes in class doesn't mean I can't draw. Give me an A bitch and don't be a condisending prick. Thanks. (Of course I didn't say those last two things but you get the picture.)

And saving the best news for last..........

THE FALCONS BEAT THE EAGLES! 14-10! First game of the season and they beat the NFC champs. It was Vicks first Monday Night Football appearance. He scored the first touchdown for the Falcons this season in the first quarter (the other TD was in the 1st also). The second TD went like this- Vick hurled it 50+ feet, Michael Jenkins caught it. Next play, TJ took it over the EZ. T.O. can suck it.

man, i hope i don't jinx it.

p.s. Laura, i love the shirt (left you a mssg).
I.L.C.- next wednesday.

EDIT- oops, sorry, i originally had in here that the final score of the game was 14-0, wishful typing i guess. i forgot the "1" in front of the zero, guess i didn't catch it when i re-read the post.

looloodaloo

2005-09-08T14:01:00.000-05:00

I downloaded my first iTune ever today. Actually, it's still downloading. Since I have this fabulous dial-up, it takes about 15 minutes to download a song. I picked "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne. It is a pop ballad but I love it nonetheless. The first time I heard it I cried. I would listen to the easy listening stations on the radio just to catch it on air. Today I was catching up on my Laguna Beach episodes and they played it. I immediately went to download it.

Oh, Laguna Beach! Jason, you are such a lowlife prick. Jessica you deserve so much better. Has anyone noticed how big Jessica's rack is? holy cow.

Today

2005-09-06T22:16:00.000-05:00

I have been drawing all.day.long.

While I drew I listened to my iPod for a bit.

Today...

these songs brought tears to my eyes-

"Longer Look" by Widespread Panic
"Girl of the North Country" by Sam Bush
"Long Black Veil" by Johnny Cash
"Dream Song" by Widespread Panic

these songs made me dance-

"Sailin' Shoes" by Sam Bush
"Stronger" by Britney Spears

aaaaahhhhh

2005-09-02T23:39:00.000-05:00

I am having the hardest time getting into the school mentality!

AND my brother drank my second bottle of V8 Splash!

I understand these are minor things but they are driving me crazy right this minute.

I think I may smoke a cigarette just to procrastinate even further. So there.

Picturlicious

2005-09-01T23:43:00.000-05:00

so here are some out of the blue random ass pics. i have included some of my art supplies. i don't know why, i'm just sharing.

do you remember Ramona Quimby (Age 8)? i have a cut out of her in my bedroom. we cleaned out the computer room closet and found her hiding there. her location is temporary but i really like having her around so maybe she'll stay for a while.

this is the TV that t and i bought together. she's a badass. (and she's mine, i won custody). notice that i have a clean closet. i am super OCD organized when it comes to my closets.

this is my backpack. it is ginormous. see that metal meter stick? well that baby sticks out of my bag at an angle because it doesn't fit in there properly. well, when i pass people in the stairwell i have to notify them that i am not trying to slice their face "watch out for the metal ruler" i say. it sucks.

this is my box that i keep everything in (ie: eraser box, pencils and sticks). here you see some charcoals, artist tape (blue) and drafting tape (black).

here are some paintbrushes, charcoal pencils and graphite pencils. i really had to stock up on the pencils for some reason.

these are more pencils, graphite and charcoal sticks and whatever else kind of drawing utensils. do you see the rubber cement bottle? just smelling it takes me back to elementary school. i haven't made a rubber cement booger yet.

this is the box for my erasers, i have a rubber cement pick up, plastic eraser, kneaded eraser, art gum (not shown), the pink pearl and my pencil sharpener all organized in it.

this is my closet doorknob. i was procrastinating (like i am doing right this second) and lying on the floor* after my birthday dinner (good buzz going on from birthday beer and margaritas, trying to sober up so i could start an art project) and figured why not take a picture of the doorknob.

this is me and my brother at Tijuana Garage for a pitcher of after-dinner margaritas.

this is my mom (bad shot), me and my brother at Fontaine's (my favorite restaurant) for my birthday dinner. dinner included Sam Adams Octoberfest, oysters on the half shell, grilled scallops, grilled shrimp and lobster bisque.

*i was not lying on the floor because i was drunk, my back hurt and i was stretching it out justsoyaknow. not sure why i had a camera with me on the floor but i thought that the beads and the knob looked cool so i just went with it ya know? you don't? well i do. whatever. i like shiney things.

Sometimes I Wonder

2005-09-01T22:07:00.000-05:00

There is a 61 year old man and a 31 year old man screaming at each other downstairs in my kitchen right now. I walk down to see what the fuck is going on and I hear my brother yelling something about kicking my dad's ass. Door slams. My brother says to my mom, "fucking asshole".

Sometimes I wonder where the hell these people think they can treat each other like this. That's my family! Ill communication. But not ill like good but ill like fucked up. My dad is an asshole and my brother's an asshole and they are just alike for the most part and that's why they hate each other so much.

Walking down there just a minute ago made me feel like I was 6 again and now I'm crying and fuck them for being so immature.

Not So whew

2005-09-01T13:06:00.000-05:00

So the effects of Katrina are devastating. Eighty percent of New Orleans is underwater. The Gulf part of Mississippi is destroyed. Thousands upon thousands have no home. They don't even have dry land to walk on. Louisiana is a toxic wasteland and will be for a very long time.

My restaurant is sending some people down there this weekend and will continue to do so as long as we can. The company I work for has a trust fund for employees in need, say your house burns down, trust fund money is given to you to help you get back on your feet. I donated $10 to the trust fund about a month ago. I didn't want to really because I was pretty tight on money but I did anyway because I knew that it was just the right thing to do. Now I am so happy I put in the $10. It's not much but it's something. The trust fund is now going to victims of the Hurricane and to sending people down there to feed the victims. I am trying to get down there next weekend.

Our Governor here in Georgia declared a state of emergency yesterday because of price gauging at the gas pumps. Somehow yesterday a rumor got out that Georgia would run out of gas and that the pumps would be shut down by that evening. Slowly, (while I was in school and oblivious to the situation) gas prices started going up like a quarter every hour. Some gas stations were up to $5 a regular unleaded gallon. Gov. Sonny Perdue "pulled the trigger" late afternoon and froze the gas prices. Now, gas station owners will be prosecuted if they raise the price of their gasoline. So by evening time the gas stations with lower priced gas (ie: $2.75, $3.09, $3.20) were running dry and only their premium gasoline was still flowing. Right hand lanes of traffic were in stand still traffic because people were waiting in long lines at the gas station before the gas supply in Georgia ran dry (or so they thought). All of the "Gas Hysteria" (as it has now been labeled) is mostly rumors and we will most likely not run out. And if we do we have a special 30 day reserve here in Georgia for dire emergencies. However, we are still getting gas from Savannah and the gas stations that have run dry are back in business as soon as a tanker gets there to replenish the supply. People were just panic stricken and freaked the fuck out. Luckily I just filled my tank the day before at $2.56 a gallon for regular unleaded. Gas prices will remain high because of supply and demand with the fact that two of the major oil refineries were in Louisiana and they are shut down, destroyed, whatever the situation may be. But the gas will go down from the $4 and $5 price gauging. Those gas station owners will rot in hell for taking advantage of a desperate situation like this. And speaking of people that will rot in hell...the looters in Louisiana will rot in an even hotter incinerator part of hell. People who loot are worthless pieces of shit. And to top it off, they aren't even looting for food and supplies, they are looting for TVs and stereos and jewelry. rot.in.hell.motherfuckers.

Pray for all the victims. Do what you can.

Picture Time!

2005-08-30T13:20:00.000-05:00

here are some pictures i have downloaded for you. they are out of order for the most part.

this dude is from the Dark Star Orchestra show at the Mishawaka. he was from Boston. this is the triangle symbol he put up after every song. i asked him what it meant and he said, "the hat, the love" (?) he said Dark Star like "Dak Stah". he was awesome.

this is The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado. The interior of this hotel is famous because it was the set for the movie "The Shining".

this is Laura's dog Emma (she is my Goddog). we wrapped her in a blanket and watched try and escape for a long time. we laughed so hard. don't worry, we are not cruel people, she is okay, she was not hurt.

this is Emma and Laura at the dog park

this is the new girl i work with, she is a skeez. i felt her fake boobs this same night. here is jeremie looking at her tattoo. i have a much better picture of her sitting in jeremie's lap but didn't want to plaster her face on my blog while talking shit at the same time. did i mention she worked at the Cheetah for about 6 years?

my baby

my "office" in my room

what my computer area looked like before i moved the table into my room. since my brother is living in the computer room, i have had to make other arrangements for my stuff. this bed/computer thing wasn't working out. my room is much cleaner now. this picture displays pure chaos.

this is my friend, Anna-Marie and her bartender friend, Danny (?). we are closing down the bar.

here A-M and I (and someone else) sampling some "Magic Hat" beer from Vermont. Laura had been telling me about this beer while i was visiting her. when i came home, the bartender was telling us about a beer he got in Vermont. it was the same beer! this picture is for Laura.

a fiels of sunflowers. i shot this on the way to the Denver Airport.

this is a shot glass of cherries that have been soaked in grain alcohol. 3 for $1. Laura and I got 6. they would have been better if we had been drinking already but we had just stopped in while we were shopping.

Emma

Laura and a growler (1/2 gallon) of a Fort Collins Brewery beer

here are our sampler glasses and a salty nuts malt candy bar at the Fort Collins Brewery

downtown Estes Park, Colorado, that building is a theatre

we had to check off the beer we wanted to sample at New Belgium and at the bottom of the page there was a self expression box, this is Laura's self-expression. "beautiful" <-- i think that's the name of the unicorn song Laura made up. it really is a killer song.

this is Laura and I cheersing our samplers from the New Belgium Brewery

Emma laying on Laura's uber (ha) comfy sofa

Ben licking Laura (Ben is her lovely boyfriend)

here is a butterfly at my house. while i was leaving for Colorado, i saw it, jumped out of the car and snapped the picture

there is this awesome gay boy that i work with. his name is Alfredo, we call him Alfie for short. he wears a bandana around his neck. (well, he has to b/c he has a tattoo on his neck and at work your tattoo can't be visible but i think that he loves wearing it) this picture was taken at our employee picnic. he was wearing this belt buckle and i thought, "this is why i love Alfie so much!" i can't quite explain it...i told you i work with a bunch of crazies. i printed out this picture and now a blow up copy is hanging in the kitchen at our work.

THE END

P.S. i know it looks like we (or i) are alcoholics. we just appreciate beer thankyouverymuch.

Today In History

2005-08-30T10:20:00.000-05:00

Twenty-seven years ago, Wednesday, August 30, 1978 at 4:20* in the afternoon my mom pushed me out into this crazy world. I cannot even believe that I am 27 today. Boy, time flies.

Over the last almost 30 years** I may not have done things exactly as planned, or in the right order but I don't regret a minute of it. Happy Birthday to me!

Things planned for this ultra-special day:

-fail my emissions testing ($25 down the drain) to buy an extra thrity days to get whatever is wrong with my car fixed (this is my favorite part)

-go to Hobby Lobby to get graphite sticks and the correct type of charcoal for my value scale project due tomorrow

-start and finish my value scale project

-work on 2D homework, create lines and shapes reflecting a specific set of 16 emotions due tomorrow

-go to Fontaines for my birthday, eat, drink and be merry...but not *too* much drink because I then return home to continue working on my projects

*that's right folks, somebody was smoking up the minute i was born, i'd like to think in my honor.
**(yikes!)

Hurricane Katrina

2005-08-28T21:31:00.000-05:00

Mean, vengeful bitch.

Please keep New Orleans in your thoughts and prayers. I have been so anxious by this hurricane. I can't even fathom these people that are filling up the Superdome with no other option, no place to go. The Superdome arena floor is supposed to flood while the people are up in the stands. They may be stuck there for 2 days. The flooding is going to smell horrendous, there is no air conditioning or running water, limited bathroom usage, people are going to smell and food, water and supplies are at the bare minimum, if that. Then there are people that are other places, no rental cars, all flights cancelled, traffic backed up to forever and a day...then there's the bridge that touches no land for about 12 miles that has bumper to bumper traffic on it headed to Mississippi. The hurricane water rise will be in over 20 feet, not to mention the pounding of the waves creating catastrophic damage to the city. New Orleans is such a beautiful city. The streets may be flooded up to 15 feet for up to 2 weeks. This is all stuff I have just gathered and I am not sure of the accuracy but whatever the facts are, this may be the biggest hurricane we will see in our lifetime.

I have been to New Orleans a total of eight times, so for that reason this is making my heart even hurt more. I love that city so much. I have so many great memories from galavanting all over that place. The architecture, the gardens, the levy, the distinct discricts, the restaurants, the people, the New Orleans culture...everything about that place makes it so special. New Orleans has characteristics that go from one extreme to the other...it is so ecclectic. It is so historic and has such a soul that really cannot be compared to any other city in the United States.

I pray that somehow this city stands strong in the eye of this terrifying nightmare.

I guess now I will try and do my homework while keeping an eye on the television. It has inspired some of my work that I have to create for my 2-D art homework. She is supposed to hit early morning tomorrow, I guess we'll just hold tight and think good thoughts.

www.welovefrancoeur.com

2005-08-27T01:25:00.000-05:00

Un-freakin-believable

the only good thing that ever came from Wal-Mart...

2005-08-27T01:17:00.000-05:00

Falcons Pajama Pants, we love you!

Birthday Countdown

2005-08-23T01:01:00.000-05:00

One week exactly until my birthday. The only part I am excited about is that we are going to go to my favorite restaurant to eat oysters on the half shell, eat lobster bisque and drink cocktails. My brother's birthday is in five days so we are sharing this birthday celebration. I'm getting old. But I don't feel as old as I will be so that's good. I just can't start to let the number get to my head..."age is just a number, it's how you feel inside that matters" right? But even if you *do* feel young, let's face it, we're all still getting old...time doesn't stop going by. I thought when I was younger that I would be married by now. Actually, according to my younger self, I am supposed to have my first child this year. Heh.

My First Day of School

2005-08-23T00:25:00.000-05:00

Today I went back to school. It's been about six years that I have been out of college. It is very tough and scary to go back after all that time. It has meant so much to me that everyone has encouraged me so much and given me all of my "good luck"s and "i'm proud of you"s.

I spent the night at T's so I would be close to school and wouldn't have to make the hour drive on my first day. I woke up extremely groggy. I am not a morning person and hey, I usually sleep at least until 11am. I was definitely not little Miss Sunshine with her backpack and new pencils.

I rolled out of bed after an hour of being harassed to get up.

I took T to work and then drove to school about two hours early.

I went to Chick-Fil-A and tried to eat but it was way too hot and I was too nervous.

This is where I'm lucky I left two hours early...I reached my University and proceeded to hunt for a parking spot for 40 minutes. Yup, 40 fucking minutes! However, after 40 minutes I got one of the spots closest to my Visual Arts building. I was golden but only after having wasted half a tank of gas, of course my A/C was on too because it was a hundred degrees outside and I didn't want to be all smelly and greasy on the first day (and speaking of...with gas prices so high, I spent $30 to fill up, what the fuck is that!)

I spent my day in my two studio classes. I was pretty shy but made a new friend. Her name is Mandy, she is going to be my locker buddy. (We have lockers in the art building so we don't have to haul a lot of our stuff around.) I like Mandy's haircut. I got my one text book from the bookstore and then ate lunch by myself in the Student Union and worked on my crossword.

After school, I went to the art store to pick up most of the supplies I need. I spent a hundred bucks. Tomorrow I have to go to another art store to pick up a HUGE portfolio type bag. It has to be big enough to carry around my 24"x18" sketch pads. I also have to get a few more things including Prismacolor Markers which are sooo expensive. I'll be dead broke after this is all said and done. Although, I like spending money on art supplies more than textbooks that you sell back at the end of the semester for like 1/100th of the price you paid.

I'm all *professional art student* now. hahah.

I love it though, I am really looking forward to it. I am going to be challenged so much. I am really going to grow a lot from the things I learn in these classes, it's going to be so beneficial for my being. We are doing more than just drawing and painting too, my professor wants to discuss all kinds of issues dealing with the world and the human condition. Yay for discussion and not just working on art. I am so excited. Oh and I don't know when my online math class starts...school has started and I am still in the dark about this class and I can't get an answer out of anybody at that school. No one knows a thing about it. I think when the math class kicks into session (if I ever find out about it), that's when my enthusiasm will fade.

I have tomorrow off. No work, no school. I am excited to go back Wednesday. We start studio then, I can't wait to get drawing.

I'm In Love

2005-08-22T23:56:00.000-05:00

I don't know his name yet. Actually, "he" might be a "she". I think it's a girl. She is my beautiful Apple computer. I am the brand new mama of a G-5 Apple Desktop that I purchased all by my very own big-girl self.

I also got a free printer/scanner/copier included (I'll have to scan some old pics and show and tell). The printer is great all but it was topped by a 3.7GB iPod that holds up to 1,000 songs! That's right folks, a $179.99 value todo por gratis! I am obsessed with this baby. It is so sweet because I don't have a CD player in my car and I broke my stereo system and now I can finally listen to all of my music. I never thought I'd get one of these but I am glad that I own one now, this little 2.5x4.5 inch (approx.) silver (my favorite color) iPod is amazing. I spent little to no time transferring cds and picking and choosing the music I want to hear. Now I need a little case so the screen doesn't get all scratched up. Who ever thought I would be so trendy?

I am currently listening to "Shady Grove" by Grisman and Garcia. Speaking of Jerry, this is the month of his birthday and the month of his death as well. He passed in '95 and this year The Dead would have been 40 years old. Anyway...

Dial-up isn't actually that bad when you are working on a new computer with lots of memory. I bought some extra memory because I'll need it for school. My mom installed it herself. She's so smart and techie. Anyway, I feel like it's high speed so I'll stick with the dial-up for awhile. It's super speedy compared to what I was used too.

Now I'm listening to Elton John's "This Train Don't Stop" (thanks Laur). You know the best thing about the iPod (beside all the other best things) is that it has the earbuds which are just as good as headphones. I love headphones because the music is so much more clear, personal and enjoyable. Okay, I'll stop it with the iPod talk.

sidenote: I would show you pictures but I have currently misplaced my camera.

Don't Ask Me, It Just Came Out.

2005-08-19T12:44:00.000-05:00

She bid on a tin of blood. Twin's blood. Their nation used to be called Siam. She took the tin of blood and tried to hide it. She didn't want it to be discovered. She poured the contents of the blood in the lining of an old Buick. No one will ever know. She finds herself riding the waves of an inlet. Maintaining her balance she does not fall. Now associating with people she does not know in a room with a view. She sees the blue sea for miles. She yearns for a room of her own. She steps outside to light up a smoke. She walks along the old weathered boards and never returns.

Skool

2005-08-19T12:38:00.000-05:00

My first day of school is Monday. I am shaking in my boots and cool as a cucumber at the same time. I can't wait to get my new computer! I can't wait to start my art classes! I am sooo NOT looking forward to Mathematical Modeling Functions. In my opinion, give it three years and they will determine that that class is obsolete. I will sue them over monies owed to me for a grade of D and a grade of F while attemping this asinine class in the past. I also have withdrawn from this class an additional 2 times. Let's hope that this 5th attempt to pass will be the winner.

Dear Laura,

2005-08-19T12:13:00.000-05:00

I was sleeping all sorts of peacefully Wednesday night when suddenly the phone rings at 5:26 in the morning. I lean over and pick up my cell to see who it is just in case it's my mom or something and it's an emergency. I see that it is you and I know that it is 3:26 your time. I knew you were hosting "Girl's Night" once again and I knew the message would be drunken nonsense. I rolled back over and went back to sleep. Four minutes later my phone beeped notifying me that I have a new voice mail. Four minutes later. That's when I knew that a veeery long, goofy wasted Laura message would be anticipating my retrieval.

The message goes something like this:

You and Rachel talking about passing gas. wishing i was "queer". nope, "here and queer would be the optimal situation". lots of laughter. you wanted to discuss the latest Laguna Beach episode [which, no, i still have not seen] and talk about one of the characters, Cedric. y'all also want to discuss my blog and my boobs. [maybe this is in reference to my very first post which is a picture of my boobs or maybe y'all really are just fascinated with theses perky peaches?] more talk about my boobs. Rachel misses my boobs. more boob talk. please call back when i am wearing my push up bra. [ladies, my breasts sincerely appreciate all the airtime they got] you guys want to see pics on my blog [more boob pics or vacation pics? i need specific requests people].

That was about it, lots of laughing and completely random talk. Oh and I don't want to leave out that the message was beeping "URGENT" as well.

I love you Laura. I wish I could be there for an actual Girl's Night instead of receiving calls from Girl's Night. It's calls like that that let me know you miss me and wish I were there. It may sound like nonsense but it's really hugs and kisses wrapped up in the form of a voicemail.

Besos.

This Just In

2005-08-19T12:03:00.000-05:00

Dylan Documentary

Airing in September on PBS. It is directed by Martin Scorsese who also directed "The Last Waltz", a documentary on the band, The Band's last concert. Wonderful film with great music and lots of amazing artists, for the DVD they had to digitally remove all the coke that had built up under Neil Young's nose...isn't that just lovely? Well, regardless of the heavy alcohol and drug use, The Last Waltz is a beautifully pieced together testament of a great musical era that cannot be repeated. The Dylan documentary can't touch it but I do expect a pretty amazing piece from Scorsese. We shall see.

Weeeeee, It's Me

2005-08-15T12:25:00.000-05:00

Finally!

I am on a laptop that my mom brought home from school. The downside to that is that I am not able to download any pictures. But impatience is a flower my friend...I will be purchasing my very own computer (suggestions anyone?)very soon so pictures will be posted soon. My school semester starts next Monday and I have an online class so this means I need a computer ASAP.

I have to thank Laura for filling in for a minute. I love the title "Porn and Circumstance". I wish my titles had some ounce of creativity to them but I am not savvy with words. I love you Laura. And speaking of friends, I have another friend that reads my blog. Her name is Laura too but that's not the name she goes by. She lives right around the corner and we never hang out anymore but I still love her. Hi Dingle!

What have I been doing since I have been back from Colorado? Working, working and working some more in a restaurant that has broken air conditioning. So, as I take orders, I have sweat beading down my face and sweat pooling down my back. Jeans sticking to my legs like skin tight leather pants. And we are all panting like we have been running a marathon with no water. Georgia heat and humidity suck but it sucks even worse with little to no A/C. I have endured no A/C before on numerous occasions but not while serving hot food from a even hotter kitchen while sporting a 65% polyester button down shirt. I really feel sorry for the grill guy and the dishwashers.

My "big news" isn't all that *big*. But thank you Laura for the teaser. I went on a date. It was lame and like going out with an eighteen year old. I will make a full post on it later.

I do have to go now so I can eat and get out of my pajamas. It is 2 pm after all. I need to enjoy this time inside of my house because I have to go to the inferno later and lose another 5 lbs of water weight.

Oh and one more thing: I bought the Muppets, Season One. It is hilarious and amusing and all that good stuff. It was $33 for 4 discs, over 10 hours of Muppets. But real quick, my point is, they have the pilot episode on there and it's called "Sex and Violence". It is freaking hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. You should watch it. Bork, bork, bork.

Porn and Circumstance

2005-08-11T17:29:00.000-05:00

Hello all you dustandsunshine loyals like myself. I am Laura, Jeanne's infamous best friend that lives in Colorado. I just got off the phone with Jeanne after countless disappointed days of clicking on her website to find no new posts since "Cash". I am happy to say that she is doing very well (she has some exciting news to share, but I won't spoil it). Due to unforseen circumstances involving certain websites and another member of her household, her computer is down. She wanted to let you all know that she is thinking of you and will get to you soon. Have a great day and we'll just pray that her computer is up and running soon!

Cash

2005-08-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

Today I just want to share one of my opinions with you. Forewarning: this opinion has no relevance to anything.

"I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die"

^^that is a line from "Folsom Prison Blues". In my opinion, that is one of the best lines from a song ever. Ever, ever.

It in no way reflects my mood today just so you know.

Hello from Colorado

2005-08-01T12:10:00.000-05:00

Stopping in (on a high speed connection!!!! it's so nice and fast!) to say hello and read my comments, thank you all, I knew I was loved! Anyway, I have been having a load of fun so far and I will give you a brief update of what I have been doing since I got here. Details and pictures will follow when I am back in the dirty dirty. heh. I forgot my usb cord to download pics from the camera to the computer so either I have to go buy another one or buy a new memory disk for my digi. I think the latter is too expensive.

Friday- flew in. went out to dinner at Avo's, listened to some music and drank some beer.

Saturday- i woke up early and took laura's dog for a walk. yay me. bagel shop. watched one hour laguna beach premiere with laura (who had not seen it). went to the thrift store, bead shop and New Belgium Brewery to sip on some beer samplings. met up with laura's boyfriend, ben and headed out to the Mishawaka (check out the pics link) to see Dark Star Orchestra. They played a Dead show from the late 70's (I'm trying to figure out which one), opened up with Jack Straw which was great. We also saw a band called Hot Buttered Rum (bluegrass) and some band called Kannal which was kinda like tribal rock (?). we had a great time, saw some funny stuff and just had a wonderful time relaxing on the patio, at the bottom of the mountain by the river. on the way back to the car we stopped to look up at all the zillions of stars in the sky. they were beautiful and amazing and almost brought tears to my eyes. i miss colorado and the mountains and rivers and very very very clear skies and clean air and all that is natural and rural and by the grace of some amazing god- absolutely mind blowing.

Sunday- headed over to ben's where he made us breakfast that included hashbrowns, sausage and pancakes (at 1:30pm). hi ben! thank you! after that we slept some more and went back home to laura's and slept some more. we were lazy. later, the dog, laura and i walked to get some ice cream. then we got pizza and salad to eat while we all got together to watch Six Feet Under (which is a really awesome show). "all" includes me, laura, ben and dave. i had a Dale's Pale Ale. it came in a can and i am not a huge pale ale fan but it really was delicious as i had been told. laura and i then ventured out to the grocery store late night and got 3 little pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (Phish Food and Butter Pecan). mmmmm.

Monday- that is today. i think i am about to take the dog for a walk, it's a beautiful day. when laura gets off work we are eating the "balboa" from the bagel shop. i'm hungry and looking forward to it. i think we are driving into the mountains later to some place that i forgot the name of. at some point we are driving up to Rocky Mountain National Park or Estes Park. i have never been to Estes and really want to go.

You may now return to your normal daily activites.

That's Some Rookie!

2005-07-28T21:54:00.000-05:00

The Atlanta Braves newest rookie and right fielder is none other than our very own Jeff Francoeur. Hometown hero and fellow PHS alumni. He is one damn good looking fellow, kickin ass and taking names for the Bravos. His first major league appearance (July 7th) resulted in a 3 run homer (brought tears to my eyes) and he hasn't really simmered down since. Earlier in this afternoon's game, he hit 2 homers. His batting average is .441, not bad for a newbie. heh.

Watch him and love him!

I've Said It Before and I'll Say It Again

2005-07-27T21:14:00.000-05:00

They are rich, beautiful, social. They live in one of the richest beach-side communities in the United States. They are the real Orange County. And they are back for Season 2!

Guiltily, one of my most favorite shows on television is "Laguna Beach" which airs on MTV. Why do I love this stupid show so much you ask? I don't have a good answer for that, I just do. Maybe it's because it seems so fake but it's actually pretty real. I'm sure they play everything up a bit more because they are in front of the camera and all but still, you know, it's fun to watch. I love Stephen and Lauren, LC and Lo. The relationships, the gossip, the clothes.

The Real OC link

Ah! And speaking of all that shallow stuff...Sweet Sixteen is also coming back for another season. Yay for reality tv! Boo for me being such an idiot!

"I'm a Dancer. Dancer for Money"

2005-07-27T20:59:00.000-05:00

My friend, A-M and I headed down to Atlanta Monday night for "service industry night" at The Cheetah. That means if you work as a server or whatever at a restaurant or bar you can get in free. I have never been to a real strip club and A-M knew I had been wanting to go. Well, our friend Becca, called after work and told us to head down and meet up. It was exciting and pretty posh as far as strip clubs go. It's one of the more high end "gentlemen's clubs" in the state of Georgia. I drank two Crown on the rocks and tipped two dancers (they were all georgeous). A good time was had by all. That's about it. We were pretty tight on money or else someone would have received a lap dance. Oh well. Next time.

The Vortex

2005-07-27T20:22:00.000-05:00

The Vortex is a restaurant in the Atlanta area. I love it. I love the food, beer and atmosphere. However, the managment there is the main reason it kicks so much ass. Here are 2 reasons...

click here for reason one. be sure to read "tip or die".

click herefor reason two.

Fish Tacos

2005-07-24T21:58:00.000-05:00

I wish fish tacos were called something else because every time I say "I love fish tacos" I always feel like I am fluffing "tacos", you know, another word for a woman's christian parts, her hoo-hoo, her yina. But not a lovely vagina, one that smells like fish. Anyway, it seems that I got carried away on that one. In spanish I think fish is pescado. I'll call them pescado tacos from now on, it's even more fun to say and a bit of a tongue twister. Blah, blah, blah, anyway, the point is: pescado tacos. Love them!

Once one of my best boy friends, Billy and I were on a little trip to Los Angeles in 2003. We were wasting time after having taken a taxi in from Long Beach. We had our bags and everything and were waiting for a friend of ours to pick us up. We were delited to be in LA, a bit tipsy from our plane ride (I had a flask of Crown Royal and also our flight attendant was giving us free alcohol. Gotta love Jet Blue.) and hungry as hell. Anyway, we wondered around and found this little mom and pop mexican joint. The place was tiny and empty. We plopped down at the counter on a stool and ordered chips and guacamole and fish tacos. Papacito made the guacamole in front of us. Then with Mamacita's help, he made fish tacos for us. Best food ever. ever. ever. I think while we were in LA for three days we ate there a total of 4 times. Sitting at that counter with Billy and savoring every bite in that little mexican cantina will never leave my memory. The first visit to that joint out of the few is the most vidid and one of my most favorite memories I have.

The picture below was taken after we ate there the first time. We tried to get a picture of the restaurant in the background but no such luck.

My Job

2005-07-24T20:37:00.000-05:00

Waitressing can make you one jaded lady, I'm telling you. People are cheap, disrespectful, tactless, classless and most of all gluttonous. Americans are disgustingly gluttonous. Every once and awhile there are the gems that remind us that the human race is actually okay but for the most part, the customers at my restaurant are degenerates.

That was not the point of my post but after a long day at work it was too easy for that to slip out. So, I apologize...end rant.

I love the people I work with. I love them more and more everyday. I work with the most random bunch of weirdo freaks but I love every single one of them. This includes front of house, all aspects of back of house, and management. Even the people I hated at first or were so annoyed by, I have come to embrace. Shawn says that (re: our co-workers) you couldn't find a more random group of people by picking them out of the white pages. These dear people keep me from running out of the restaurant and jumping in front of a moving car sometimes.